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A Yelp Review of TGI Fridays By Someone Who Has Never Been To a TGI Fridays

By Ariana White:

Um so I’ve never been to TGI Fridays but…

I never been to a TGI Fridays nor have I had their food but just the aura and the concept of it is quite awful. Even from a distance, TGI Fridays gives me the chills. I can only imagine that the floors are speckled if not littered with crumbs and are constantly sticky. I would imagine their food not only causes high blood pressure and an increased sense of self-loathing, but is probably bland and uninspiring. I’ve also pondered TGI Fridays’ purpose and role in life, and the sheer irrelevancy of the restaurant, if we can even call it that, makes me wonder if it’s simply a glitch in the simulation. Sometimes I even feel a strong urge to set a TGI Fridays on fire. For no reason, just… instinct. And sometimes when I pass by a TGI Fridays as I am speeding down the highway on my way to work I think “”. This being said I do enjoy a good visit to Red Lobster. Their food is simply unmatched and, unlike TGI Fridays, I at least enjoy myself while having my arteries clogged. Who works at a TGI Fridays willingly? Is it fun working there? Is it like every day is Friday, a day of relaxation and anticipation for the weekend? That seems a little unlikely. I’d expect the opposite really. Every day is like a Tuesday. Not quite the beginning of the week but you still have many days to go and you already want to go home and cry. In conclusion, for reasons unknown and though I have never been, I have an innate suspicion of TGI Fridays that goes beyond logical reason and spills into the realm of conspiracy theories. I am giving TGI Fridays 1 star and I would not recommend this restaurant to a close friend or relative.


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