By Sahasra Nistala
Hello, you gorgeous, enterprising, brilliant person, you! Do you often get contacted by people halfway around the globe telling you your bank account has been hacked? Is your friend on vacation suddenly in dire need of “500,000$ USD” to get back home? Are you knee-deep in a pyramid scheme that you willingly joined despite the red flags?
Well, fear not! We at the Anti-Scammer Service exist solely to protect you and your loved ones from these dangerous scams. To join, just follow these five simple steps:
Go to antiscam.legitlink.asdf.net. Please ensure to physically click on the link.
As in, press on the link. You can do it.
Enter your full name, age, phone number, two email addresses, credit card number, CVV, social security number, bank account information, and all the passwords associated with your online accounts. We at the Anti-Scammer Service require this information in order to best protect it from scammers.
Upload a headshot, a family photo with as many family members as possible, and a video in which you show us all the angles of your face so that we may realistically render it in 3D. We at the Anti-Scammer Service exist to make sure that you or your loved ones are not taken advantage of by predators who wish to hijack your devices with your own countenance.
Upload a voice recording so that we can prevent scammers from stealing your vocal data and using it to trick your family members into believing that you need them to send you money.
Go to legittcameras.welcome.eddu and purchase a webcam compatible with your personal computer or mobile device. Once again, please actually click on the link. After delivery in 5-7 business days, follow the instructions in the package to set up the webcam so that it records your face and your surroundings at all times. This video feed is securely stored with us and is necessary to ensure your safety. For an additional $49.99, you can also add a free microphone!
You’re all set! Make sure to leave a good review on all major platforms, because if you don’t, we know where you live…unlike the scammers, are we right?
Thank you for considering the Anti-Scammer Service! As a special thank-you that is just for you and no one else, we are offering the chance to invest in some crypto that will double the size of your bank account. Just go to www.bigoof-anti scammers-usa-crypto-lol.whatevs.web. Remember, it doesn’t work if you don’t click the link.