By Maddie Thompson
Ahhhhh, it’s that time of year once again. The flowers are starting to bloom again, you’ve passed the post-winter break depression, classes are even getting just a bit easier. That’s when it hits you, this is only the calm before the storm. National SAT day is just around the corner, and you are completely unprepared.
If you’re like me, and have wisely avoided studying for possibly the biggest test you will take in your life, you too, know the value of a good study playlist. The right selection of songs can keep you motivated, send your brain a positive message to keep going even when studying seems endless, and provides just enough of a slight distraction to give yourself an excuse to not focus on actually studying.
Over the years, I’ve curated quite a few playlists to stimulate the studying part of my brain, but I think I have reached my Magnum Opus with this one. A fittingly thought out and complex playlist suited just for the preparation of the most important test of your life. It would be a shame not to share it with the public. Therefore, I present the perfect SAT study playlist.
1. Highway to Hell - AC/DC The perfect song to prepare you for the emotional journey you are about to take. You’re going to the deepest parts of your brain, desperately trying to remember the formula for the radius of a circle, something that you haven’t heard since 8th grade geometry. Some say Hades is a fiery pit below the Earth, others say it’s a place here on earth, but every student in America can agree, Hell is really just standardized testing.
2. What’s Up Danger - Black Caviar After psyching yourself up for the past 3 minutes, you’re finally prepared to face the danger head on, and charge into the lion's den of practice tests and Khan Academy tutorials. You face the danger head on, unwaveringly confident in your ability to remember the function of a predicate in a sentence.
3. Confident - Demi Lovato You’re smart, you’re confident, you’re bold. Your brain is filled with inspirational quotes found on the wrappers of dove chocolates you have consumed in preparing yourself for the next hour. You try the first question on a practice test, and then the second. You’ve got this! This whole experience is going to be a piece of cake!
4. Oh shit - The Pharacyde The song for when you are faced with a math question you’re pretty sure Einstein couldn’t even figure out. You’re not even at the calculator section yet. Let’s hope this is just one bad question, you’ll be fine!
5. Oh God - Orla Gartland It was not just one bad question. You are not fine.
6. Oh No! - MARINA You flip through the rest of the practice questions. One of them asks you to calculate the amount of apples Johnny has in his hand, except that Johnny has 9 hands, doesn’t believe in apples, and is on fire. Your answer is 7 oranges.
7. Born To Die - Lana Del Ray This is the end, you were doomed from the start, born just to die. No one could possibly get a 1000, let alone a 1600 on this test. They set you up to fail. You are a piñata and the American school system is a 7 year old with repressed anger issues.
8. Another One Bites the Dust - Queen Standardized testing has claimed its latest victim. Your hopes and dreams of getting into a good college sit in the trash as you look through McDonalds job listings. Good job SAT prep, another poor student bites the dust.
(This article has been posted in honor of National SAT Day, on March 1st. Whatever day you're reading this, just pretend it's March 1st.)