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Top 5 Number Bands

By Alex Ritchey:

DISCLAIMER: This article is strictly opinion-based. And fact based, according to Urban Dictionary.

Personally, I don't give a damn about Number Bands, but as I have discovered through demographic data, 97% of The Milking Cat’s readers do. In this article, I will be ranking the Top 5 Number Bands based on how much I care about them. Just to clarify, a Number Band is a band with, you know, a number in their name.

5: Twenty One Pilots

I jammed out to a few of their songs in 7th grade - thirteen being the universal angsty age - but I haven't heard a damn thing from them since then. They're a 3 hit wonder. I hope they are doing well. Apparently they have a never-ending music video which I think is pretty cool (is it a reference to their never-ending teen phase?).

4: Eiffel 65

Before I switched from homeschool to public school and learned what a meme was, I rocked out to "Blue.” These people haven't been relevant since. And that music video? Sheesh. I don’t think they knew what they were doing when they released that song.

3: Blink-182

Frankly, I don't care all that much about these people. I do, however, care enough to have owned a poster of them at some point for some reason, so I guess that’s something. They still make music, and even added the number 9 to their repertoire through an album, but overall, I just don't really think they’re that interesting.

2: U2

There's a podcast featuring Adam Scott and Scott Aukerman about U2, which is why I added it to this list. I've never heard a single song by them, which speaks to the quality of some of these other bands. It's pretty much one of the dopest number bands, probably. Also, it's apparently Christian, if that's your kink.

1: Sum 41

Not only is this a mathematical answer, but they’re also a fantastic band. They still make music. In fact, the lead guy even inspired me to get frosted tips, actually. Unfortunately, I was called "Frosted Tips" because of that.

Even though this list is ranked, there's one thing I want you to take away from this: nobody gives a damn about these bands, and if you do, I certainly don't care. I mean, why would you listen to Number Bands when you can listen to letter bands? #diofan #nwafan #rhcpfan


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