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By Julianna Reidell (with thanks to Dishari Barua): The residents of Stratford-Upon-Avon woke early last week to a commotion at the local Holy Trinity Church.

By Julianna Reidell: Twilight Saga Author Stephenie Meyer Joins Forces With Uncle Ted’s Publishing Company To Produce Bilight: Twilight Where Everyone Is Bisexual Fans Enthusiastic and Also Not Particularly Surprised No need to choose between just Team Edward or Team Jacob anymore, Twi-hards!

By Julianna Reidell: The Classic Novel Nerd’s Guide to the Perfect 2020 Halloween Costume Written by The Milking Cat Hawaii, Where Halloween Hasn’t Happened Yet (and totally not The Milking Cat Pennsylvania, where someone is two days behind schedule) Welcome, Classic Novel Nerd - yes, I’m talking to you.

By Julianna Reidell: Diversity Meeting The author would like the audience to know that she has no actual issues with straight cis white men.

By Julianna Reidell: Chances are, if you’ve endured high school, you’ve read the Sparknotes version of a Gothic novel.

By Julianna Reidell, who sincerely apologizes for continuously writing parodies that require the audience to have read at least one Shakespeare play to understand them.

By Julianna Reidell: Inspired by the Times Chronicle Moans and gasps of sensual ecstasy were transformed into dry-heaves of boredom at last Thursday’s virtual porn club meeting when the online platform was hacked by a malicious city employee.

By Julianna Reidell: *Cue melodramatic music.