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By Noah Stern: There is quite literally nothing more comedically potent than a good, crisp, witty one-line

By Noah Stern: Ah, Thanksgiving. I have nothing to say to that guy! He’s always muttering to me about how Robert E. JERRY is watching the game from an upper balcony, JAMES EARL and NORAH are sitting on the side. NORAH (In C#) Jerry, what are you doing? JERRY What do you mean? This is always how I find players. JON Bro what NORAH (In B♭ diminished 7th) I “Don’t Know Why” every Thanksgiving ends this way!

By Noah Stern & Spencer Armon: This election day, we put our lives and livelihoods on the line and defended *Anecdotes 1-3 by Noah Stern, 4-5 by Spencer Armon Anecdote 1: Don't Vote Twice In the training videos Anecdote 2: Sweater Men These anecdotes have almost nothing to do with each other, but I decided to lump

By Noah Stern: Startling news out of Lockwood High School this week: It turns out teachers can read everything

By Noah Stern: Passage-Based Response | You will have 20 minutes to read and respond to the following

disgust paints her face it sits in plastic, trapped, confined wings long for open air he glances back, stern

By Noah Stern: The following transcript was taken from a Peloton cycling class on August 21st, 2020.

No embellishments, no lies, nothing. Benji, Dan, and Noah, the editors, they just kept spamming the group chat, saying stuff like, “We just When Noah Stern bestowed nicknames on the recent inductees during a staff meeting, I expected something When my friend Sam Riko complained and said that they had crossed the line, Noah responded it was only

with a bat or maybe a bird “Dad, stop, that was totally racist” Honey, I’m famous, my life’s an oasis “Woah “Woah! Did you go to war like grandma?” No, but when I went to Walmart I wore a balaclava “What?” Nothing “Ha” “Haha” Just like— you.

By Noah Stern: Gabriel came to school in a three-piece suit every day.