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40 results found for "noah stern"

  • The Swimming Pool

    Dan Soslowsky and Noah Stern

  • Don't Ever Change

    Noah Stern & Spencer Armon 5/13/19

  • Best One-Liner Joke Formats

    By Noah Stern: There is quite literally nothing more comedically potent than a good, crisp, witty one-line comeback.

  • A Milking Cat Thanksgiving II

    By Noah Stern: Ah, Thanksgiving.

  • BREAKING: The Teacher Can See Your Private Chats on Zoom

    By Noah Stern: Startling news out of Lockwood High School this week: It turns out teachers can read everything that students send over private chat on a Zoom call.

  • A Collection of Anecdotes From Our Time as Poll Workers

    By Noah Stern & Spencer Armon: This election day, we put our lives and livelihoods on the line and defended the institutions of democracy by answering the call to become a poll worker. *Anecdotes 1-3 by Noah Stern, 4-5 by Spencer Armon Anecdote 1: Don't Vote Twice In the training videos sent to us by the Montgomery County Board of Elections, a kind man named Jonathan walked us through the process of interacting with voters and showing them how to use the ballot scanner.

  • Dept. of Education: “American Test Scores Now Highest in the World”

    By Noah Stern: In a statement delivered this week, Secretary of Education Betsy DeVos triumphantly announced that, for the first time in 30 years, the United States is once again testing higher than every other nation in the world.

  • The 2050 AP US History Exam

    By Noah Stern: Passage-Based Response | You will have 20 minutes to read and respond to the following passages.

  • A Poem of Displeasure

    With the total lack of "punch-lines" and "an utter lack of context" in many of the newer articles, the quality of submissions is clearly plummeting (with the exception of Noah Stern's weekly riveting articles). In fact, I am so furious about the current goings-on of The Milking Cat that I wrote a poem in ABCB rhyme scheme expressing my displeasure: Roses are Red Violets are Blue I spoke with Soslowsky We're starting a coup Ben's time has come The cat is failing But when I get in charge It will be smooth sailing New times are ahead With Spencer in charge Noah can stay Benji is discharged There will be more to come Featuring my displeasure New articles monthly Noah Stern is a treasure I took over The Cat So bid Ben adieu A change in command The Cat's started anew Note: Editor Benjamin Elkins forced me to add this note to the end of the poem or he would prevent it from being published.

  • SHOCKING: Trump Demonstrates Baghdadi Raid Using Action Figures

    By Noah Stern: In a disastrous press briefing this morning, President Trump informed the American people of the successful raid on ISIS leader Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi’s compound in Syria.

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