By Noah Stern:
The holiday season is upon us, and whether you celebrate Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, or some other consumerism-based winter festival, we here at the Milking Cat want to wish you all Happy Holidays and a great New Year. We now invite you to join along in singing the Milking Cat holiday song:
[90-minute guitar intro performed by Sting]
How about Sting everybody??
*smattering of applause*
Okay now y’all ready to get this thing started?
*halfhearted ‘yeah’ from crowd*
Yeah? Lemme hear you! Y’all ready to get this thing started??
*increasingly louder groans from crowd*
Awwwww helll yeah lets kick it!
*lightening sound effect*
Oh my God what was that? Was that lightening?
Bro you literally asked me to play that sound effect
Oh I forgot I’m sorry can we restart?
*assorted complaints are heard from the crowd*
You know what, can we just bring Sting back out?
Do you guys wanna hear more Sting?
*Sting is heard offstage saying that his time is up and he has to leave to make his flight*
Alright well thanks for showing up everybody. I hope you had a great time, now let’s get back to checking out the new Milking Cat uploads. I heard we got a cool one from the collaborative Milking Cat Staff, it’s pretty funny.