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The Milking Cat's Journey

             The site originally accepted submissions from creators of all ages, but pushing themselves to create new original pieces every week became increasingly stressful for the three editors, especially when they would rarely receive outside submissions and didn’t have very many viewers. 

             When COVID-19 hit in March of 2020, the three editors decided that it would be the perfect time to take the site to the next level to fight quarantine boredom not only for them, but for teenagers all around the world as well. The Milking Cat rebranded as a “by teens, for teens” (although they have always found that label to be cringey) comedy website, and opened up new staff positions to create a more reliable workflow and provide more opportunities for funny teens.

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             The Milking Cat was founded in 2018 when then high school sophomore Benji Elkins wanted to start a humor magazine to rival his school’s regular student newspaper. Alas, he was not allowed to, so instead, he decided to simply start the comedy journal on his own.

             He reached out to childhood friend, illustrator, and poop joke enthusiast Dan Soslowsky and friend from summer camp and self-proclaimed “big comedy guy” Noah Stern. The pitches, sent on January 3rd, 2019, can be seen below in all of their glory. The website would be named The Milking Cat, referencing a scene from the 2000 film Meet the Parents where Ben Stiller lies about milking a cat. And just like that, the website was born. 

           

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             Soon enough, The Milking Cat became the first and only comedy site to be featured in The New York Times' Top 70 Plus Places to Publish Teenage Writing and Art. From there, they launched The Milking Cat Summer Comedy Competition and secured sponsorships from popular humor magazines and comedian Sebastian Maniscalco.

             From sports to politics to riffs on classic literature, readers of all kinds can find comedic pieces that fit their specific interests. We triple-dog-dare you to pick any piece at random, and no matter which you stumble upon, you will find something thoughtful, well-written, and (hopefully) funny!

Milking Cat Staff

The Milking Cat wouldn't be possible without its dedicated team! Below are some of the best teen comedy writers and creators!

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Benji Elkins

Editor-in-Chief

Benji Elkins is a founding member and Editor-in-Chief of The Milking Cat. A junior at Lower Merion High School, he has created numerous stories, articles, and videos for the magazine. In his free time he enjoys taking pictures of himself in the bathroom.

@belkins_1021

Noah Stern

Senior Editor

Noah Stern is a founding member, Senior Editor, and Head of Sports Writing at The Milking Cat. When he's not mastering the art of PhotoShop, Noah likes to attend his classes at Abington Senior High School, study vigorously, and sometimes even write articles for The Milking Cat.

      

@noah_sternn

Dan Soslowsky

Senior Editor

Dan Soslowsky is a founding member, Senior Editor, Head of Illustration and Design, and self-proclaimed "Admiral of Comedy" at The Milking Cat. He is an award-winning artist (if you count third grade art contests), plays every musical instrument known to man (as long as that man only knows of the trumpet and piano), and enjoys long romantic walks on the beach. 

@dsoslowsky  @dsoslowskyart

Asher Hancock

Columnist

Asher Hancock is an Esteemed Contributor and Columnist for The Milking Cat. His passions include regular golf and miniature golf. However, he does not like large-golf. 

@asher_brooks101

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Spencer Armon

Outreach Officer

Spencer Armon is an Esteemed Contributor and Social Media Outreach Officer for The Milking Cat. After his failed coup in early 2020, he applied to join the staff for the sole purpose of becoming a mole. Spencer ties his shoes with one loop because “two loops are for chumps.”

@spencer_armon

Julianna Reidell

Curator

Julianna Reidell is a Curator at The Milking Cat. She tried unsuccessfully for years to create a reputation as an Angsty Teen, until she realized that being angsty is passé and switched over to humor. An aspiring author, she gained notoriety when Draft One of her first novel was forcibly seized and relocated to a superfund site due to public health and safety concerns. Forthcoming products will hopefully be better.

Milking Cat Staff

The Milking Cat wouldn't be possible without its dedicated team! Below are some of the best teen comedy writers and creators!

Benji Elkins

Editor-in-Chief

Benji Elkins is a founding member and Editor-in-Chief of The Milking Cat. A senior at Lower Merion High School, he has created numerous stories, articles, and videos for the magazine. In his free time, he enjoys migrating south for the winter.

To see work created by Benji Elkins, click here.

@belkins_1021

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Dan Soslowsky

Senior Editor

Dan Soslowsky is a founding member, Senior Editor, Head of Illustration and Design, and self-proclaimed "Ruler of All Comedy" at The Milking Cat. He is an award-winning artist (if you count third grade art contests), and enjoys long romantic walks on the beach and writing bios about himself in the third person. 

To see work created by Dan Soslowsky, click here.

@dsoslowsky  @dsoslowskyart

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Noah Stern

Senior Editor

Noah Stern is a founding member, Senior Editor, and Head of Sports Writing at The Milking Cat. When he's not writing articles or using bricks as cellphones, Noah likes spending time with his wife of 36 years, Carol, their 3 kids, and their dog, Seymour.

      

To see work created by Noah Stern, click here.

@noah_sternn

Asher Hancock

Columnist

Asher Hancock is an Esteemed Contributor and Columnist for The Milking Cat. His passions include regular golf and miniature golf. However, he does not like large-golf. 

To see work created by Asher Hancock, click here.

@asher_brooks101

Spencer Armon

Outreach Officer

Spencer Armon is an Esteemed Contributor and Social Media Outreach Officer for The Milking Cat. After his failed coup in early 2020, he applied to join the staff for the sole purpose of becoming a mole. Spencer ties his shoes with one loop because “two loops are for chumps.”

To see work created by Spencer Armon, click here.

@spencer_armon

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Julianna Reidell

Curator

Julianna Reidell is a Curator at The Milking Cat. She tried unsuccessfully for years to create a reputation as an Angsty Teen, until she realized that being angsty is passé and switched over to humor. An aspiring author, she gained notoriety when Draft One of her first novel was forcibly seized and relocated to a superfund site due to public health and safety concerns. Forthcoming products will hopefully be better.

To see work created by Julianna Reidell, click here.

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Harrison Mazer

Outreach Officer

Harrison Mazer is a social media/marketing outreach officer for the Milking Cat. Harrison is an avid skater and surfer and enjoys doing both down the Jersey Shore where he spends his summers. He also enjoys playing saxophone and guitar, and is able to play happy birthday on guitar with his eyes closed.

To see work created by Harrison Mazer, click here.

@harrison_4928

Sascha Nastasi-Feinburg

Curator

Sascha Nastasi-Feinburg is a Curator at The Milking Cat. Though oft criticized for her fervent dislike of tomato sauce, Sascha proves herself to be a true Italian by frequently snuggling her Pekingese, Don Corleone, and exclusively watching The Godfather Part III. In her free time, she also enjoys Not Smiling.

To see work created by Sascha Natasi-Feinburg, click here.

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@saschanastasi

Ariana White

Columnist

Ariana White is a Columnist for The Milking Cat. Her interests include baking, studying for the SAT, and visiting the dentist. She was recently sent away to boarding school due to her blatant disregard for authority AKA cursing at nuns and her favorite food is Tonkotsu ramen. After being asked, countless times, “Was that a joke?”, she decided to put that talent to good use and write obviously funny satire.

To see work created by Arianna White, click here.

@a.r.i.a.n.a.w.h.i.t.e

Dev Pandya

Newsletter Manager

Dev Pandya is a newsletter manager at The Milking Cat. At the ripe age of 43 he looks pretty good. Being a Canadian, he came into this world with a maple syrup bottle in hand and his very own baby-sized igloo. Contrary to the Canadian stereotype, he doesn’t own a pet polar bear. Instead, a pet beaver named Dev Jr. As you can see, he is very creative. Currently he works on his basketball skills day & night because “Hockey is boring…..and I can’t play the same sport as the Leafs."

@dev_3466

Alekhya Rajasekaran

Columnist

Alekhya is a columnist for The Milking Cat. After years of accusations that she was narcissistic by her peers, the creative, gorgeous, hilarious, and humble Ms. Rajasekaran decided to be a host for the Milking Cat Podcast where she would be able to debunk those claims by talking about herself for 30 minutes straight. 

To see work created by Alekhya Rajasekaran, click here.

@_alekhyaraj_

Dishari Barua

Twitter Manager

Dishari is a social media officer for The Milking Cat. She likes taking long walks on the beach---long only because of her old people bones. Her interests include using semi;colon out of context, posing for very convincing fake candids, holding interviews starring herself and expressing her love for rice aggressively;; 

To see work created by Dishari Barua, click here.

@dishari.trbl

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Sophie Cohen

Columnist

Sophie is an unemployed cheese taster living in suburban Pennsylvania. In her free time, she loves to travel. Just last year she went to Egypt, but she was disappointed when she learned that contrary to what her doctors had told her, the bottom 40% of the pyramids are not made up of bread, pasta, and cereal. 

To see work created by Sophie Cohen, click here.

@shockacohen

Noa Garmaise

Curator

Noa Garmaise is a curator at The Milking Cat. Noa lives her life by the six tenets of Pilates - concentration, control, centre, flow, precision, and breathing. Her main influences include Lisa from the Simpsons, Tommy Douglas (the father of the Canadian healthcare system), and Mark Ruffalo. Noa enjoys knitting, reading, and standing in her siblings' shadows.

To see work created by Noa Garmaise, click here.

@noagarmaise

Julia Ferrate

Newsletter Manager

Julia Ferrate is a newsletter manager at The Milking Cat. In her free time, Julia sips sweet tea on porches, enjoys the lonely lie of an only child, and signs her emails "best regards" like a pretentious old person. She also spends her time attempting to make people laugh while muted on FaceTime and is a part time professional color undertone examiner. 

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Eli Osei

Columnist

Eli Osei is a small child with a former passion for life and a current passion for mini-pizzas. When he was just nine years old he watched the PG-13 rated ‘King Kong’. He never truly recovered. Now slightly older, Eli does not enjoy much but says that small food is “pretty neat.” He loves the way it makes him feel like a giant, as though he was Godzilla or some other large made-up creature like that.

To see work created by Eli Osei click here.

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@ebrangle

Natalie Parker

Columnist

Natalie Parker is a Columnist for The Milking Cat. She is also an amateur brain surgeon from Suburbia, USA who enjoys writing, acting, and [insert joke hobby here]. Soon enough, she will have to endure senior year of high school, and she refuses to answer any of your questions about where she’s applying to college.

To see work created by Natalie Parker click here.

@nat_c_parker