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THE MILKING CAT

Aug 11, 2023
2 min

How I'm Preparing For Senior Year

Feb 27, 2023
1 min

Top Secret Information from China's Spy Balloon

Feb 20, 2023
1 min

CAUTION: ONLY RELEASE IF THE U.S. IS OVERTAKEN BY THE CHINESE COMMUNIST PARTY

Feb 20, 2023
1 min

Appropriate Uses For Caffeine

Apr 4, 2022
2 min

The Tragic New Disease of Elon Musk

Feb 21, 2022
2 min

Breaking News: English Teacher Learns Nobody Cares About his Midlife Crisis

Dec 13, 2021
1 min

Teen Declared Failure

Nov 22, 2021
2 min

BREAKING NEWS: A High School Senior Gets A Full Night Of Sleep

Oct 18, 2021
1 min

Old Man Rejoices as Viagra Spill Triggers City-Wide Hard Water Crisis

Aug 9, 2021
3 min

“Tofu Stole My Soul”: The Elkwood High Story

Jun 14, 2021
2 min

Press Release From Heaven: Gay People Are Cool Now!

Jun 14, 2021
1 min

“In hindsight it was a bad idea,” admits SAT Proctor After Operating Jackhammer During Exam

Jun 7, 2021
1 min

Dog Eager to Spite-Piss on Rug After Not Being Included on Family Walk

May 17, 2021
2 min

Surprising But True: Every Member Contributes To Group Project Equally

Apr 26, 2021
3 min

The RBeeGees

Feb 23, 2021
1 min

BREAKING: Teacher Tells Students To Go Outside, Then Actually Gives Time To Do So

Feb 1, 2021
2 min

Financial Advisor Seen Buying Lottery Tickets

Jan 12, 2021
2 min

ABC Announces Family Feud: Dating Show Edition to Appeal to Southern Market

Jan 12, 2021
1 min

Baddest Bitch of 2020 Completes Her World Tour

Jan 4, 2021
1 min

Students Forced to Vape in Their Own Bathrooms Now That School Restrooms Are Closed

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