How I'm Preparing For Senior Year

Top Secret Information from China's Spy Balloon

CAUTION: ONLY RELEASE IF THE U.S. IS OVERTAKEN BY THE CHINESE COMMUNIST PARTY

Appropriate Uses For Caffeine

The Tragic New Disease of Elon Musk

Breaking News: English Teacher Learns Nobody Cares About his Midlife Crisis

Teen Declared Failure

BREAKING NEWS: A High School Senior Gets A Full Night Of Sleep

Old Man Rejoices as Viagra Spill Triggers City-Wide Hard Water Crisis

“Tofu Stole My Soul”: The Elkwood High Story

Press Release From Heaven: Gay People Are Cool Now!

“In hindsight it was a bad idea,” admits SAT Proctor After Operating Jackhammer During Exam

Dog Eager to Spite-Piss on Rug After Not Being Included on Family Walk

Surprising But True: Every Member Contributes To Group Project Equally

The RBeeGees

BREAKING: Teacher Tells Students To Go Outside, Then Actually Gives Time To Do So

Financial Advisor Seen Buying Lottery Tickets

ABC Announces Family Feud: Dating Show Edition to Appeal to Southern Market

Baddest Bitch of 2020 Completes Her World Tour

Students Forced to Vape in Their Own Bathrooms Now That School Restrooms Are Closed