By William Herff:
Hoping to teach its owners a lesson, a 13-year-old Lhasa Apso told reporters Wednesday he was eager to spite-piss on his home’s Tibetan rug after not being included on a family walk. “I’m going to destroy it,” said the Lhasa Apso, whose urine is so toxic that it can eat holes through even the most tightly woven carpets. Sometimes, the dog ruins upwards of three pieces of furniture a month. Describing his plan, the Lhasa Apso said, “I want to hit the part under the window. They usually won't find it there for days. If I’m lucky, maybe Master will step in it with socks on.” Proving that dogs can have their feelings hurt too, the canine, known by his owners as Bear, further confirmed that despite his regular attempts to bite anyone attempting to put a leash on him, the family could have at least tried.