By Benji Elkins:
INT. SPORTSCASTER ROOM
The scene opens up to two colonially garbed men in 18th century attire, IEZEAH and LAWRENCE sit at a desk facing the camera. On the desk is a candlelit lantern and two jars of ink with quills inside. In front of the two men is parchment paper they seem to be reading off of.
The men smile at the camera.
Good Afternoon sirs and madams, my name is Izeah Gates,
And I'm Lawrence Heathworth
And we are channel 1776, bringing you all the sports coverage you need.
TRANSITION TO A MONTAGE OF OVERLAPPING SPORT ACTIVITIES AS CLASSIC COLONIAL MUSIC PLAYS
MONTAGE: colonial men shoot flintlock muskets at cans, OVERLAPPING with Colonial men chasing chicken, overlapping with a man carrying pitches of milk, overlapping with a woman giving birth, overlapping with colonial men dumping tea into a harbor. END MONTAGE - FADE TO BLACK
HEADER APPEARS OVER BLACK: "Your Newsses, Today in Sporttes"
FADE back to Izeah and Lawrence sitting in the Colonial Sportcasting Room
CLOSE SHOT OF IZEAH
This morn in the great sport of fisticuffs, young upset Andrew Jackson hath taken the lead in the North Carolina's boxing circuit. Weighing in at 154 lbs and a height of 6 feet 1, we could see Jacksons name reoccurring in the near future.
CLOSE SHOT OF LAWRENCE
Today is the last competition of the official 13 Colony wide dueling tournament, sponsored by Samuel Adams' Ale and Prints. We now cut to Abigail at the tournament now.
THE SCREEN SPLITS AS ABIGAIL APPEARS ON THE RIGHT IN FRONT OF A FIELD, LAWRENCE AND IZEAH REMAIN ON THE LEFT SIDE OF THE SCREEN
Hello Abigail, what can thou tell us from the situation oe'r there?
EXT. DUELING GROUNDS - DAY
ABIGAIL, dressed in a dress and bonnet stands in front of a field bordered by filled wooden bleachers. She stands blankly in front of the camera.
Go on dear, you have my permission to speak.
Abigail humbly smiles at the camera and curtsies.
Well sir, it is a very busy day indeed here at Weehawken. Tons of local Jersey and Philadelphia residents have come out in support of their dueling champion Benjamin "Eagle" Thompson, the home dueler today.
ABIGAL AND LAWRENCE DISAPPEAR AS THE CAMERA CUTS TO BENJAMIN
BENJAMIN stands in traditional colonial garb examining his flintlock pistol. He wears a a rounded hat with an eagle feather tucked in.
However, the stands are not only filled with local residents today as many New Englanders have also taken the carriage ride down to cheer for their competitor all the way from Boston, Samuel "The Patriot" Yueller.
CUT TO: SAMUEL TALKING WITH HIS SECOND
SAMUEL wears a traditional colonial fisherman/sailor's frock as well as a sailor's cap.
CUT TO: THE STANDS, one side holding a flag with an eagle on it and cheering. One man holds a flag with Benjamin's face on it.
Tension rises as everyone knows the winner today wins all and gets to bring back the Washington trophy back to their home state.
CUT TO: a brass trophy of a nude GEORGE WASHINGTON
Truly a spoil for the victor
CUT TO: A man walks through the New England side of the stands, highlighted by a majority of the audience wearing fishing gear, with a box around his neck and holding live lobsters in the air.
Lobtsta's! Get ya Lobsta's!One Dolla', Git ya Lobsta's!
Some of the NEW ENGLANDERS buy some raw lobsters off the man.
CUT TO: A man walks through the Philadelphia/Jersey side of the stands, characterized by most of them being fairly large and surly looking, holding cheesesteaks, pretzels, and water ice in hand.
Cheesesteaks, pretzels, wooder ice, I got it all! Cheesesteaks, pretzels...
CUT TO: A man buys a pretzel from the vendor, picks up a set of wooden dentures off the floor, pops them in his mouth, and bites down on the pretzel.
CUT BACK TO ABIGAIL STARING BLANKLY AT THE SCREEN
Abigail blinks slowly and has a subservient look on her face. She glances around the area and then looks up longingly at the camera.
SLIDE LAWRENCE AND IZEA IN FROM THE SPORTSCASTER ROOM TO SPLIT THE SCREEN
You can speak now Abigail.
Thank you, sir.
LAWRENCE AND IZEAH TRANSITION OUT AS THE SCREEN CUTS TO JUST ABIGAIL, SHE CURTSIES ONCE MORE
Well it seems the duel is about to start.
SAMUEL AND BENJAMIN APPROACH EACH OTHER
A man dressed in white and black vertically striped colonial garb steps forwards.
Alright gentlemen I want a fair duel, no bullets below the waist and we go t'ill one of you is dead or dying. Good?
Both men nod.
The two men turn back to back.
The two men will now march 35 paces and fire.
The two men begin to walk.
Both men are using standard issued flintlock dueling pistols and should be accurate at their range.
The two men continue to walk and then stop. For a second there is silence. Then INSTANTLY the two men turn and fire simultaneously.
A RICOCHET is heard and both men remain standing for a few seconds, then begin to reload.
OH! Thompson and Yueller have missed! This is insanity, what a close match this will be! Now it is simply up to who can reload the fastest!
SHOT OF SAMUEL QUICKLY BEGINNING TO RELOAD HIS WEAPON
(in a sportscasting frenzy)
Yueller frantically finds his cartridges!
SHOT OF BENJAMIN POURING POWDER INTO THE PISTOLS BARREL
Thompson pours his powder!
THE CROWD LOOKS ON WITH AMAZEMENT
THIS IS PANDEMONIUM!
CUT TO: A YOUNG BOY BEGINS TO BITE HIS NAILS, HIS MOTHER LOOKS OVER AND SLAPS HIM
Don't do that.
SHOT OF SAMUEL BEGINNING TO RAM THE BULLET DOWN INTO THE BARREL
Both competitors reloading as fast as they can who will win?!
SHOT OF BENJAMIN LOOKING UP AT SAMUEL, FRANTICALLY CLEANING HIS BARREL
Onto the prime!
SHOT OF A HAND PRIMING THE PISTOL
CUT TO: A SHOT OF A DIFFERENT HAND PRIMING THE PISTOL
THE TWO MEN AIM AT EACH OTHER AND FIRE
Samuel's head explodes into a burst of blood and is flung backwards and Benjamin grasps his stomach and falls forwards onto his face.
SILENCE in the audience.
THE CAMERA RUNS FORWARDS AS IT ZOOMS IN ON SAMUELS BODY AND THEN PANS OVER TO BENJAMIN'S
The CROWD remains SILENT
The DOCTOR walks forward and checks Benjamin's pulse. He looks at the camera and shakes his head.
A CRY from the Philadelphia/Jersey stands is heard and the New England side cheers.
The doctor walks over towards Samuel's body.
SHOT OF THE DOCTOR LEANING OVER SAMUEL'S NONEXISTENT HEAD
The doctors squats down and checks Samuel's pulse, he gets up and looks towards the NEW ENGLAND STANDS.
CUT TO: NEW ENGLAND SPECTATORS BITE THEIR NAILS, CROSS THEIR FINGERS, AND PRAY UNDER THEIR BREATH
CUT TO: ONE MAN TAKES A MONSTER BITE OUT OF HIS RAW LOBSTER
CUT BACK TO: DOCTOR
The doctor solemnly shakes his head. SCREAMS are heard. The stands ERUPT into CHAOS.
CUT TO: A group of screaming NEW ENGLANDERS bring out a bucket of hot tar.
CUT TO: A Group of screaming PHILADELPHIANS/JERSEYANS carrying a bucket of feathers.
SHOT OF MEN FIST FIGHTING
CUT TO: ABIGAIL IN FRONT OF THE CAMERA
Well what a surprise to us all here today and an interesting match it was!
Abigail looks around nervously.
That is all for today and I wish that all of you at home your life, liberty, and happiness.
CUT TO: INT. SPORTSCASTER ROOM
Lawrence and Izeah sit at the desk with pleased emotions
Well who said the ladies can't enjoy sports?
That's all for today, and we hope to see you all on the morrow here at channel 1776.
THE MONTAGE FROM EARLIER PLAYS AS THE SCREEN FADES TO BLACK