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By Benji Elkins:

BULLY: Hey Nerd!

NERD: Yeah?

BULLY: You better give me your lunch money or you’re gonna eat a shit sandwich!

NERD: Oh please! I only have like three dollars!

BULLY: Three dollars?!

NERD: Only three dollars.

BULLY: Okay well the shit sandwich only costs $2.75 so you should be good.

NERD: Oh okay


BULLY: So you do get a choice of side. Would you like unsweetened applesauce or carrots?

NERD: You don’t have fries? I feel like last time you had fries.

BULLY: Well fries are 50¢ extra so that’s out of your price range.

NERD: Right. Uhm, apple sauce.

BULLY: Ok and any dietary restrictions?

NERD: I actually am gluten free.

BULLY: Oh really what’s that like?

NERD: It’s difficult. You know. Celiac. Just happened actually.

BULLY: Oh apologies. Right, well anyways I can take the money now.

(NERD hands BULLY the money.)

BULLY: Thank you. Now take your shit sandwich punk!

(BULLY punches NERD in the face.)

NERD: Ow! What the hell!

BULLY: Take that Nerd! And this!

(BULLY takes out a 12 inch gluten-free roll covered in poop. He gives it to NERD. NERD reluctantly takes a bite and looks over at another kid on the floor sitting nearby. He is wearing a turban.)

NERD: What are you eating Dasam?

(DASAM looks over, he has a black eye.)

DASAM: Shit Naan.


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