How my Friend is Related to 1940s British Tank Doctrine

By Timothy Lim

This incredible story has its roots all the way back in the midst of World War One. The British are about to reveal their grand plan, Plan 1919, where they planned to use a cool, revolutionary strategy where they would have the big heavy, slow tanks break a hole in the enemy's defense and then have the smaller, faster, and lightly armored tanks exploit that gap and cause chaos behind the front lines. They don’t actually get to use this plan, because Germany surrenders before they could, but they keep this strategy in mind as they head towards World War Two. And of course, they make tanks that suit these strategies, with lightly armored cruiser tanks and heavily armored infantry tanks. These tanks have exciting names, like the Vickers Medium Mk II, and the Coventator, but the one tank of focus is the Matilda II.

So anyways, flash forward another 80 years or so, and my friend’s mom just finished giving birth. Now as they’re naming their child, they look deep within the history of Korea to find a name worthy of the baby. They go over myths written thousands of years ago and review the legends found in the history of Korea, and eventually, they realize the incredible historic significance of 1940s British tank doctrine in Korean history. Now of course, they look at the tiny, frail baby and say, “Yes, this reminds me of the heavily armored British WWII era tank, the Matilda II.” 

I consider this to be quite an interesting choice of naming, but taking into account the fact the child is not mine, I’ll let it go. Or I guess they just thought it was a cool name, but that really isn’t as logical of an explanation as mine.

Anyhow, I was drafting up my next glorious pitch for the Milking Cat, and I thought: what's the most universal concept that nearly every person who reads articles on the Milking Cat would understand? And my brain went: 1940s British tank doctrine! Of course! Now see, my brain was clever, and realized that not everyone would know what 1940s British tank doctrine was so it was like: Women! That's gotta be at least half the population right? So I thought, what if I talked about women, and how they relate to 1940s British Tank doctrine? That’s like half the population, plus some other people! Universal appeal!