By Noah Stern and Spencer Armon:
CHRIS: What’s up, Dave?
DAVE: Hey Chris, how’ve you been?
CHRIS: I’m pretty good. I actually just passed two guys in the street talking about kunefe
DAVE: Isn’t Kunefe that Japanese ball and string game?
CHRIS: Nah, you’re thinking of kendama. Kunefe is the ethnic group from the Middle East that has no nation to call their own.
DAVE: Pretty sure that’s the Kurds. I think Kunefe was the main character from Roots.
CHRIS: That’s Kunta Kinte! I was under the impression that Kunefe is a wintertime celebration of African-American culture.
DAVE: I think you’re mixing it up with Kwanzaa. Kunefe is that meme that started when President Trump misspelled the word coverage.
CHRIS: Close, but no cigar. That’s ‘covfefe.’ I have it now, Kunefe is a fermented, slightly sweetened tea drink.
DAVE: Chris, you’re way off, that’s Kombucha. Let me stop this right here, Kunefe is a Japanese video game developer founded by Kagemasa Kozuki.
CHRIS: No, no, that’s Konami, you ignoramus. Kunefe is the Supreme Leader of the Democratic People’s Republic of North Korea.
DAVE: I really can’t take this attitude from someone who thought Kim Jong Un is named kunefe, when kunefe is clearly Kim Kardashian’s husband.
CHRIS: Man, you’re like a brother to me, but I have to say you are an absolute imbecile. That would be Kanye. For real, kunefe is the tallest mountain in Africa.
DAVE: Are you stupid?! That’s Kilimanjaro! Kunefe is that Senator from Minnesota.
CHRIS: Not even close! That’s Klobuchar. Kunefe is Polish Sausage.
DAVE: Christ, man, that’s Kielbasa. Kunefe is the structural protein that makes up hair and nails.
CHRIS: That’s Keratin, goof-boy. Kunefe is the country that is a peninsula just South of Bahrain.
DAVE: How have you confused it with Qatar?! Kunefe is a tube that when looked into, produces a symmetrical pattern.
CHRIS: To be honest, you’re the dumbest person I know because that’s a kaleidoscope. Kunefe is a Sumerian writing system.
DAVE: You have to be kidding me! That’s Cuneiform. Kunefe is the martial art practiced by Po and the Furious Five.
CHRIS: That’s Kung Fu, dummy. Kunefe is a serious STI that causes pain while urinating.
DAVE: You are plain wrong! That’s Chlamydia. Kunefe is an artistic form of handwriting.
CHRIS: No Dave, that’s calligraphy, whereas kunefe is the country that primarily makes up Tajikistan’s Northern border.
DAVE: Quite frankly, you cretin, that is Kyrgyzstan. Kunefe is the icy belt that surrounds the sun just past Neptune.
CHRIS: I’m 99% sure that is the Kuiper Belt. Kunefe is a group of small sticks placed at the center of a fire.
DAVE: I’m like four seconds away from crying bro, that’s kindling. Okay, I’m fairly certain that kunefe is a metric unit equivalent to 1000 meters.
CHRIS: That would be a kilometer. Kunefe is a Korean side dish containing vegetables.
DAVE: No that’s Kimchi. Kunefe is a popular low-carb diet.
CHRIS: You really got it mixed up with Keto? Are you for real? Kunefe is the former capital of Japan.
DAVE: Are you out of your mind?! That’s Kyoto! Kunefe is a boat and also a palindrome.
CHRIS: Are you sure that isn’t a kayak? How would kunefe even be a palindrome? If all of those guesses are wrong, kunefe must be a Turkish pastry.
DAVE: I knew that!