Helpful Promposal Suggestions

By Siona Kirschner

With promposal season upon us, I personally have been wanting to see a lot more creativity. Quite frankly, this year’s promposals just aren’t going to cut it. To take action and help solve the problem of disappointingly boring promposals, I’ve taken it upon myself to create a helpful list of ideas. 

1. The Acceptance Letter Dupe

   Fake an acceptance letter from your promposee’s dream school. You need to stay on guard with watching them throughout the day so you can be there right after they read it. Then, you jump up in front of them and say, “Just kidding! You’ve actually been accepted… to go to prom with me!” Preferably, you include a pun about the school on your poster to keep the theme alive. This one has the added bonus of testing your relationship, because if the recipient of your promposal’s face falls, you’ll know that they care more about the academic grind than your relationship. If this is a dealbreaker, I recommend creating a backup breakup poster to display instead of your promposal one (this should also have a pun about the school). 

2. The Silly Gaslight

   This promposal will keep the object of your affections on their toes. Get the entire school to ignore them for the entire day. In order to pull this off, you’ll need to have a strong relationship with teachers and faculty since it only works if everyone is in on it. A few hours in, they’ll be questioning their sanity and maybe even the reality of their existence! Then at the end of the day, you walk straight towards them, giving them the eye contact they have been deprived of since 8am, and say, “I’ll still see you, even if no one else does.” This is sooo romantic. This promposal really follows through on its flare if, after asking them and of course getting a yes, you engage the entire school in a celebratory flash mob. 

3. The Celebrity Swap

   Come to school dressed up as your beloved’s favorite celebrity crush (bonus points if your self-consciousness about not resembling said celebrity crush is a point of contention in your relationship). Insist on pretending to be said celebrity crush for the entire day, without breaking character. Then, at the end of the day, return to your usual identity and hold up a poster asking them to prom with a pun about the celebrity! 

4. The Artsy Ask

   If your courtship is artistically inclined, this personalized promposal is sure to make them swoon! Just sneak into the art room where they keep their current project (bonus points if they’ve been working on it for a month or more), and decorate it with a fun message asking them to prom. Add your own creative flare by including little doodles and big letters! The message should also preferably include something about art like, “My canvas would be blank without you. Prom?” or “Let’s paint a real masterpiece… of us at prom together!”

   
   

5. The Proposal

   Get down on one knee. Pull out a ring. Say, “will you marry me?” When they say no, start crying. Pull out a piece of paper and let your tears fall onto the paper. Little do they know, the paper has tear-activated ink on it with a message asking them to go to prom with you. After the threat of a marriage proposal, they’ll be extremely relieved and say yes without a second thought!

NOTE: The author wrote this piece the night before her APUSH exam, instead of studying for said exam. She then used two pieces of evidence that were outside the timescale on her LEQ. So her heart will break and she will cry if these ideas do not go to use. Please use them.