Mind-Boggling Shower Thoughts

By Seungwoo Lee

Shower thoughts are great. They are the epitome of our supreme intelligence and creativity - the finest use of our potential. Here are some shower thoughts that are truly worth thinking about:

I. What if our life is nothing but a simulation?

Did you know that electrons only exist when you look at them? How do we know if things really exist? What if we are all living in a game, and everything disappears the moment we look away? How do we define existence? How do we define life? What if I don’t exist? What if YOU don’t exist? What if we ALL don’t exist? AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH (just dropped my soap)

II. If your life is a movie (and your whole life is being broadcasted on national television), your closest friends will be earning the most money.

If your life is a movie, your closest friends are probably just insanely popular actors who had to go through a rigorous selection process. Jim probably has the most fans, or maybe Tom.

III. If you sleep 8 hours a day, you’re giving up one third of your life.

I know that sleeping is good for my health, but I ain’t just giving up a third of my life. That’s like trashing 3 pizza slices for no good reason!

IV. Every odd number has the letter "E" in it

Like what the *

V. Someone out there hates you...a lot

Doesn’t it bother you to think about how someone out there hates your guts. Maybe it’s that Starbucks guy (Timothy?) who always stares through your soul. Or maybe it’s that random girl from your English group, who recently requested you to “re-do the citations.” Or maybe it’s Jim.

It’s probably Jim.

VI. What would have happened if, from the moment you were born, you trained to become a professional squash player.

I’m personally not very athletic, but I’m 93.5% sure that I would have become a ‘professional’ squash player if I had trained from the very moment I was born. I mean, that’s of course, unless I suddenly went through a “phase” and transitioned to tennis (or, worse, TABLE TENNIS).

VII. Are there shower thoughts about shower thoughts? Is this question itself a shower

thought?

I’ll leave you to think about this one on your own (your next shower is going to be wild).