How to Stop Wearing Socks (and Why You Should)

By Lee Kirschner

Hi! I’m so glad you randomly stumbled upon this article that I definitely, one hundred percent didn’t orchestrate so it would land on your algorithm at this exact moment in time. I’m here to provide you guidance to complete a task that will change your life completely.

I mean for the better. Duh. 

Every morning, without even thinking, you put on socks. It takes you several seconds to finish this. Have you ever asked yourself, why? What’s the point? 

From before you can even tie your own shoelaces, your parents lie to you. By putting socks on your feet from babyhood, the implication is that this is the best course of action–the only one. But they are wrong. Sure, you are only wasting a few seconds per day on it, but have you ever thought about how that adds up? How just a few seconds a day, every day of your life, takes a chunk out of your free time? 

You may argue that your feet will get cold, or your shoes will rub up against your feet. I, too, once had such qualms. Allow me to provide a series of steps for you to complete in order to transition into a full, nice, sockless life. 

• The Introduction. If you’re an exceedingly sock-reliant person, as in, you even wear socks inside your house without shoes, you need to start with this step. If you only wear socks out, with sneakers, you can skip this. However, if you don’t you MUST START WITH NO SOCKS IN THE HOUSE. Seriously, what is wrong with you people??!!!

• The Transition Period. Sandals, sandals, sandals!! (Or flip-flops, if you’re a heathen. Seriously, why is there that weird little strap BETWEEN two of your toes? Gross. But, no matter). Spend two weeks ONLY wearing shoes that are generally sock-free. This will be easy because it will feel normal, yet it will also help train you out of your instinct to reach for the socks every morning, and training your feet for any cold. 

• Rip off the Bandaid. Anddd, you made it! Well, sort of. Just start. Start wearing traditionally sock-using shoes without the socks. If you want, you can begin with just a few days a week, until you’re a fully sock-free, burden-free person. It might cause blisters at first, but your skin will toughen up. (Mine will, too. Any day now). 

Now you’re there! You have joined me and many other enlightened humans in a life with a few extra seconds of spare time every single day. What will you do with them? The possibilities are endless!!

Sincerely, 

Dr. Lily Kirschner