Ranking Brainrot Terms from Skibidi to Rizzler

By Elsa Boehm

As someone with a little brother in elementary school, I have suffered more brainrot-related burns than any human should ever have to go through. Am I too skibidi? Is that even a bad thing? As a result, I’ve taken it upon myself to do some research. Yes, I fell into some dark corners of the internet. Yes, I interviewed nine year-olds. But the point is, I have come up with a groundbreaking, definitive tier ranking of brainrot from “complex absurdist social commentary” to “goofy ahh shyt”.

Disclaimer: using these words in an academic setting may result in being mildly-to-severely bullied. Also, I sincerely apologize in advance to all those who are not chronically online.

1. Sigma.

When I call myself a sigma, what I really mean (before fading into the shadows) is that “social norms are too basic for me” and “I should exercise my intense stare more often.” It’s rare that one brainrot word can convey so much. Furthermore, “what the sigma?” is the perfect response to any befuddling event. Stubbed my toe: “what the sigma?” Elon Musk kills the federal government again: “what the sigma?” A “friend” sent me 8 Instagram reels of Kermit as a drug addict: childhood ruined, and also “what the sigma?” And when I say I’m going to “chill with the sigmas,” it even makes it sound like I’m more socially active than I really am. When kids use the word “sigma,” they’re basically making a social commentary on the absurdity of the universe. They’re saying “who cares about grammatical standards? I’m too sigma for that.” There’s something powerful about this.

2. Baby Gronk.

According to the mainstream media, Baby Gronk can be found rizzing up Livvy Dunne and aspiring to be a football superstar in his free time. However, the reality may run deeper than this. What lies behind those undaunted eyes? Some say it is pure dedication. This kid is making moves and doing mountain climbers in silence while I desperately google “how to play catch without embarrassing myself.” Though this jealousy makes me want to bump Baby Gronk down a few notches on the list, I am leaving him in second as a result of my fear of him.

3. Skibidi.

“Skibidi” isn’t a word. It’s a lifestyle. It’s true that, according to my sources, “Skibidi” has recently fallen somewhat out of favor among the younger generations, but it nevertheless has a certain je ne sais quoi that makes me want to use it repeatedly. Since nobody seems to know quite what it means, “skibidi” encapsulates the essence of absurdity, allowing people to say what they want to say with zero social retribution or mutual comprehension. When I am told that I am “so skibidi,” I never know if my entire bloodline is being cursed to an early death or if (more likely) my brainrottedness is finally being recognized by the chronically online community. I also don’t want to know. Skibidi.

4. Rizz/Rizzler.

Yes, people who use the word “rizz” unironically tend to look like they were shipped to this earth from a Temu dropshipper. But, as I ponder the nature of the word, I can’t help but identify with it. In the words of a popular brainrot song, are we not all “sticking out our gyatts for the rizzler” in our own way?

5. “Ahh” (Often accompanied by a “Goofy Ahh” or “Freaky Ahh”).

Though it may initially seem like a simple exclamation of awe, the awe should truly be for the word itself: so multifaceted, so goofy (ahh). When I say “goofy ahh”, I’m essentially trying to see how far I can take the brainrot before reality has a nervous breakdown. The word “ahh” is more than “goofy” or “freaky”--it is a “don’t mess with my vocabulary” ahh word.

6. Looksmaxxing.

One conclusion of my investigative reporting is that looksmaxxing is a menace to society. Last week, I was trying to study in the park (a rare moment for me) and a four year-old kid playing a youtube video at top volume sat down across from me. He was listening to a mewing tutorial. I watched in a combination of horror and fascination as this child clearly and repeatedly attempted to mew. I quickly packed up my stuff and left, pondering how looksmaxxing is a scourge for today’s youth. Even worse, people who genuinely looksmaxx just end up looking like they have far too much time on their hands, instead of like the gigachads they should be. As a result, looksmaxxing is low on the list. Also, I lost a mewing competition to the nine year-olds I interviewed and I’m still bitter.

7. Ohio.

I know Ohio is technically a real place, but the state feels less relevant than the brainrot term: “Ohio” is the pinnacle of brainrot. The word “Ohio” is the only thing more bamboozling than driving through the Midwest, and the feeling is the same: somewhere between bleak nihilism and pure disbelief that a state name can both start and end with an “O.”