By Kaavya Shah
My mom laughingly apologized to me after getting a bit annoyed that I wasn’t making her coffee fast enough. She said, and I quote,
“Sorry, I just get a bit hangry, but for coffee. I don’t know if there’s a word for that.”
And then I said, and I quote,
“There is. It’s called withdrawal.”
Hilarious anecdote aside, this got me thinking about other mundane objects that people get “hangry” for, or have withdrawals from if they don’t have them.
Perfume
Have you ever met someone that forgot to wear perfume before coming to a public place? Well, I have and it is not pretty. I mean, you would think they were Shrek or something the way they stand five feet away from everybody else so they don’t knock them dead with their “awful stench.” I feel like people who “forgot to wear perfume” immediately think they aren’t fit to be in society because they smell like normal humans. Like dude, it’s fine if you don’t smell like Japanese cherry blossoms or cookie butter vanilla or whatever they’re selling at Bath & Body Works these days. All I ask is that you shower. Please. Also, don’t forget deodorant, and I mean actual deodorant, not this Native, no-scent rubbish deodorant.
Gum
Orbit, Trident, Hubba Bubba: the currency of every American high school. Remember the time you gave a kid a piece of gum in math class? Now you get to copy off of their homework for the whole week. But then, tragedy strikes! You forget to bring gum one day. Guess you have to do your homework by yourself like a regular person. Have you ever seen people phantom chewing? There’s not even gum in their mouth, they’re just chewing on nothing, grinding their teeth like cows. I mean that’s a whole different level of addiction. Maybe eat a carrot or something if you’re going to be chomping like that.
Phone
I’m not trying to sound like an old person or anything, but if you can’t go an hour or two without using your phone, you may have a problem. People who forget to bring their phone to school or forget to charge it act like they’re on their deathbed. They make such a big stink about it, it makes you want to put down your phone (because you actually remembered to bring it) and listen to them talk so dramatically about the tragedy of not having their phone for ONE SCHOOL DAY, because that is so much more entertaining than waiting for TikTok to load. I understand if you’re pissed about not having your phone because then you can’t listen to music and romanticize your bus ride home. I’ll admit I’ve definitely been guilty of complaining about that a couple times.
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