By Tekle Skiles-Januta
This year, you brushed your teeth 474 times.
That’s more than 55% of toothbrush users!
You also flossed 17 times.
That puts you in the top 7% of flossers!
Your best month of toothbrushing was January, with 81 toothbrushing sessions.
During this month, your top reasons were New Year’s Resolutions, Improved Sleep due to winter break, and a Dentist’s Appointment that had been pushed from August 2023.
Your worst month for dental care was November, with 38 toothbrushing sessions. During this month, your top means for avoidance were Election Broadcasting, English Essays, and Anxiety Naps due to the results of said election.
During 2024, your sessions averaged 1 minute and 37 seconds of brushing.
Since the recommended time to brush is two minutes, you lost 140 minutes total of brushing time! That’s enough time to brush the teeth of eleven saltwater crocodiles!
In regards to flossing, 94% of sessions resulted in excess blood. Maybe that’s why you only flossed 1.42 times per month…
Still, your 1 trip to the dentist resulted in success—you achieved the most cavities filled since the age of 8! With a grand total of 13 cavities, you are well on your way to the tooth loss that is 100% likely to warrant dentures before the national average age of 45.
With your personal contributions to the dental industry totalling over $3,200, both dentists and your dental insurance company thank you for paying your patriotic dues to capitalism. U-S-A! U-S-A!
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