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BuzzFeed Gives Me the Gift of True Love

By Kaavya Shah I’d never admit this to just anyone, but you, anonymous reader, you are special. Also, my English teacher told me I needed to express intimacy with my reader in order to create a compelling lead, so here I go: I love taking Buzzfeed quizzes. Also, slightly more embarrassing to admit than the Buzzfeed quiz thing, but I also engage in hopeless romantic activities such as reading Jane Austen and rewatching 10 Things I Hate About You. So it was just my luck that the most perfect Buzzfeed quiz appeared on my home screen: I Know Exactly When You'll Meet Your Soulmate Based On How You Feel About These Trends

So I thought to myself, “Gee whiz! I’m gonna take this quiz, and I’m sure it will elicit a response that will make me feel good about myself and hopeful for my future”.

I could not have been more wrong. Well, actually, not really. You’ll see. 

I’ll give you a quick list of some of the trends I had to rank so that I can prove to you that I did not deserve the quiz result I got

Crocs - They’re really ugly, I’m sorry. Hard pass. Why are they $50? And don’t even get me started on the Croc platform shoes. Like girl, trust me, I am not wearing Croc platforms for a night at the club, and I don’t care how sparkly they are 

Ripped Jeans - A regular pair of ripped jeans is fine, so I did say yes to this question. But some of the rips are so BIG. Your legs have got to be claustrophobic or something for your leg to be exposed like that, because why is your entire femur hanging out? Do me a big favor and put on a pair of shorts because your leg is BEGGING to be freed. Please #freethelegs

TikTok - Yup, yup, yup. Where else would I learn the top five most important things to know about the Cold War ten minutes before my exam? School? I don’t think so

Off-the-shoulder tops - Absolutely not. We know your shoulder is on the verge of frostbite. “Oh, but I’m fine.” Don’t lie. I see someone wearing an off-the-shoulder top; I am making a beeline for the exit, giving them the cold shoulder, if you will

So, finally, this lovely quiz is over. I got my result and, to put it plainly, I was disappointed. I was surrounded by my friends, so I had to play it cool (I cried) and say that I didn’t care (I’m writing a whole article about it) and walk away with my head up (I deleted my BuzzFeed account). This was the exact result I got, by the way, accompanied by a GIF of Gina Rodriguez:


You love yourself, and you love spending time in your own company — why would you need anyone else?

Now, some might read this as rejection. A sign to give up on love forever. But I, an intellectual, possess the ability to read between the lines. I came to a simple conclusion: Gina Rodriguez is my soulmate. I yipped, I cheered, I tried desperately to get my Buzzfeed account back, but it seemed that Buzzfeed had written me off as scum by that point and forgotten me forever. So now that I know that Latina icon Gina Rodriguez is my soulmate, my faith in love has been restored, and I cannot wait for the moment when I finesse my way into the world of C-list Hollywood celebrities, and I get to watch 10 Things I Hate About You with her


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