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Call Me By My Name and I'll Call You By Yours

By Ariana White:

“Call Me By Your Name,” a title used for both song and cinema, has caused an uproar in every community possible. Confusingly, this includes both underaged furries and white men who take baths. It started with a borderline pornographic movie starring a skinny Laguardia graduate and a cannibal acting as lovers in late-1980s Southern Italy. To give context, gay did not equal good. The plot focused on the popular “Forbidden Love/Enemies to Lovers” romantic trope to tug on the heartstrings of every teenage girl and occasional mom. The scenery in Call Me By Your Name was beautiful and I listen to the soundtrack every time I cry and I cry a lot. The movie ended in utter heartbreak and in turn made over 40 million dollars in revenue. But, we were not prepared for the new song “Montero (Call Me By Your Name)” sung and written by Lil Nas X. Montero has grown tremendously in popularity over the past couple of weeks due to its music video which showcases Lil Nas’ creative genius. The video, much like the Oscar-winning movie, not only has an exciting plot of its own but is gay as fuck. The most popular scene features Lil Nas ascending to heaven as an angel until abruptly pole dancing downwards towards the gates of hell.There, he begins to give a lap dance to Satan. You simply can’t make this shit up. Both the movie and music video have proven to be incredibly controversial amongst critics and common people who believe their opinions matter just the same. Call Me By Your Name was attacked due to the drastic age difference between Elio and Oliver and Montero because of the um… I don’t know actually it really wasn’t that bad. The song gives me the same vibes as “Anaconda” circa 2014 sung by Nicki Minaj and really brings back the artistry of making millions of homophobic Christians around the world want to claw their eyes out and pray for forgiveness.


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