By Thomas Hunter:
Curious Cats is a website made for Kids by Kids. This week, eight-year-old, Hannah J, will be writing about the IRS. Good Luck, Hannah!!!
Hey Curious Cats and Kittens! Today we will be learning all about the Internal Revenue Service, or the IRS for short. So buckle up and get ready because this is about to be crazy! We will be interviewing Jackson S. Peters who is currently a supervising manager for our local IRS branch.
Q: What does the IRS do?
A: Well first off I want to say hello to all my curious cats and kittens reading this online! Well, to answer your question, the IRS is basically the government's way of stealing Americans’ hard-earned money. Just kidding! Ha. Ha… Could you take that part out? Yeah sorry, I thought it was going to be funny- I don't know. Alright restarting now. Hey Curious Cats and Kittens! Thank you for tuning in online to read this article about the IRS. To answer your question the IRS was an agency designed to help the United States to take down Al Capone! Hahaha. Ha… Oh, God. That wasn’t funny either, I don’t know how to connect with these kids. They probably don’t even know who Al Capone was. Well… he was a badass, I'll tell you that- by the way this is all off the record, right? Ok perfect because I would be in some trouble if my boss found out about this. Alright, last time. Hey, you curious little felines! The IRS is a way for the government to collect taxes, and-
Q: Like Stealing?
A: What. No, it’s in the constitution. The government is allowed to take money from its citizens to make the roads better, build hospitals, and-
Q: Kill thousands of innocent civilians in third-world countries?
A: Huh- I- You are a little chirpy for a third-grader. What? Why would you even ask that? No, the government doesn't kill innocent civilians anywhere- Stop laughing this isn't a joke. Seriously, this is like a violation of journalism laws. Aren’t there laws you need to follow like you can't be biased, you can't bring your subject to the verge of tears, etc? Because you're breaking two of those right now. Anyways, what was the question?
Q: How do you live with yourself?
A: Ok that wasn’t the question… but a bottle of Vodka and Xanax…. Yeah Ha ha ha… Did I mention Al Capone yet?
Thank you Curious Cats and Kittens! I hope you were able to learn a ton from this article and make sure to check out this site next week for our interview with our local Death Row Warden!
Meow Meow for now!