Fascism 4 Preschoolers

By Sophie Cohen:


Fascism 4 Preschoolers:


Written By Jessica Valenci


“Sharing is caring,” my teachers say,


But what if things didn’t have to be this way...




These crayons and markers become all mine,


But I still love my classroom, this place is divine,




My face becomes stoic, I turn icy cold at my core,


My once friends try to fight me, it’s full blown war.




Sharing’s for commies, liberals, anarchists,


These weaklings are no match for a gun and my fists,




What’s more, Ms. Johnson gets up from her chair,


She pulls out the chalk that’s tucked in her hair,




Upon the blackboard she writes in a line,


“On this day, Ms. Johnson hereby will resign”





That’s improper grammar I note in mind


But I still love my classroom, this place is divine




Now that she’s gone, it’s my time to shine,


I step up on her desk, and raise my fists really high,




“Have you heard of G-d?!” I yell out to the class,


They better all be ready to kiss my ass,




“I’m basically him,” I yell once again,


I look down from the desk and then I see Ben,




Ben’s collecting papers from each of my vassals,


Now I’m fuming, I smack down my gavel,




“Ben what are you doing,” I yell


“I’m collecting votes so we can replace you because to be perfectly frank with you, Andres, none of us really like your leadership style”




“What are you talking about?! This is how we do it around here, you don’t like it you can die!”


“Andres I think what I’m trying to say is that... fascism is... bad”





“It is?”


“Yeah.”



“Ok! Let’s do it your way!!”


“Ok!”




About the author:


Jessica Valenci is an author and preschool teacher residing in a suburb of Vancouver, Canada. After receiving her masters degree in political theory from the University of Oxford in 2007, she decided to apply her knowledge to creating a tangible difference. That’s why in 2009 after being let go from her job as a barista, she founded the Westborough Preschool for Children of Those Who Live in Gated Communities where she gives lectures to children between the ages of 3 and 4 on topics like political theory, fascism and Benito Mussolini’s rise to power in 1920s Italy. Jessica says she believes more than anything that “children our our future! Fascism sucks,” and that “if children aren’t taught about fascism and how to successfully (easily and quickly) dismantle systems of oppression at a young age they will most definitely become fascists.” If you liked Fascism 4 Preschoolers, check out some of Jessica’s other books: The Woman’s Moon, a steamy erotica novel about a widow who falls helplessly in love with the moon, and Benito Mussolini is The Worst.