top of page

How To Elect Ketchup

By Amelia Ell

Last year, about this time, we witnessed a glimpse of the oak-sturdy paradise that was a wooden chair as a school co-presidential candidate. Alas, Wood N. Chair was once again trodden over and sat upon by our more popular candidates: the tiresomely animate and questionably adequate youth of the modern day. This year, I propose a similar revolution, one that truly drags the audience by their nostalgia all the way down to the voting booths where they will make our future a reality. This year, I propose the honorable Ketchup Stain as coprez for 2024.

We have heard it said that success is the fruit of passion. What better than to choose a fruit the colour of passion itself? No, Stain will not stand idle, hide his bold face, or his bold flavor. Nor will he back down, washed away in the colourless claims that plague the media. His words are made to stay. And you can count on him to be there. Forever. 

Vote Stain.

The following images can be printed on humble 8.5x11 sheets of paper so you can take your own high school by storm. Not even bleach can take you out.


bottom of page