I'm So Hungry I Can Eat...

By Seungwoo Lee

I. I’m so hungry I can eat my calculus homework.

No, I’m not trying to avoid doing my homework. Who in the right mind would NOT want to find the derivative of logarithmic expressions at 3AM in the morning. It’s just that - for some reason - the graph looks sooo juicy...I can actually FEEL the flavors adding, subtracting, multiplying, and dividing in my mouth.

II. I’m so hungry I can eat a pea.

I’mma devour that thing like a monster (yo watch out peas).

III. I’m so hungry I can eat the theory of relativity.

Just imagine how cool it would be if you walk into a random restaurant in the middle of the night, pick up the menu, and read “limited edition: the theory of relativity - $10”

IV. I’m so hungry I can eat Lebron James.

I’mma eat the king of basketball. I’mma let him be a part of me. I’mma slowly wait for him to break down and run through my veins. Then I’ll also be the goat (no, I’ll not be Michael Jordan).

V. I’m so hungry I can eat my SAT vocabulary list

I just realized that - instead of spending hours and hours trying to memorize SAT words - I can just eat them. A mere SAT exam will be of no concern to me. I’ll literally be a linguistic genius. Words will come out of me as naturally as poop.

VI. I’m so hungry I can eat a raw potato

Hahaha! I’m joking! You can eat a raw potato you silly goose (got you!)

VII. I’m so hungry I can eat a Pseudoliparis swirei

I honestly eat it everyday.

VIII. I’m so hungry I can eat a bowl of good jokes

Thinking about all these things in the middle of the night reminds me how important it is to have a good laugh once in a while. Friends, go out and have fun. At the end of the day, there’s nothing like a bowl of good jokes.