By Anka Chiorini:
Thu, Nov 4, 11:58 PM
Dear… English teacher? (I’ll be completely honest, I do not know your name)
I’m emailing you exactly one minute before my essay about Hamlet- or was it Macbeth?- is due, because I need an extension. I would have emailed sooner, but I had no free periods and spent my entire afternoon at a meeting for student government followed by a practice with my dance troupe that I founded. To get into college, you need to be a club founder. When I got home, it was 10:30, and I had to do homework for all of my seventeen honors and AP classes. There are not enough hours in a day to send emails to teachers about how there are not enough hours in a day to write essays.
I need an extension because I am very busy trying to seem like a well-rounded person for my college applications. Between my independent study on Andorran Literature and tennis team practices, I’ve just been totally swamped this week. And on top of that, I’ve got an AP German test next Tuesday that I am totally unprepared for because I’ve been too busy editing the school newspaper. I’ve recently decided to turn it into a daily print publication — colleges like that. Anyhow, I haven’t even gotten to the part where Hamlet kills Banquo.
I would love to tell you that I can have the essay written by Monday, but I’ve got an overnight conference for Model UN. And when I get back, I have to make up a quiz for my astronomy elective that I missed while making up an AP Calculus test that I missed while performing a skit in Spanish at an elementary school for the Spanish National Honor Society. Or was it for the French National Honor Society? I’m the president of both. Ivy League schools like multilingual students. Hmm. I should be able to get my essay done by two Mondays from now – nope, scratch that, I’m volunteering at the local food bank every afternoon next week after rehearsal for the school musical, which I’m directing and starring in. Also, I wrote it. Can I turn that in instead of my essay? It’s very good. It’s an homage to the College Board. The school newspaper (yes, the one I edit) called it “a stroke of genius written by someone who totally deserves to go to Harvard.” Okay, you got me — I wrote that article. Could I turn that in rather than my essay? If not, I should be able to have at least an outline of the essay turned in by the end of the school year. Is that okay?
Let me know what you think. Of course, I won’t be able to check my email next week because I’ll be doing a simulation for the local historical society, so if you don’t hear back from me, that’s probably why.
Your favorite student,
President, Drama Club
Treasurer, New York Tuba Society
Founder/Choreographer, Dancing Queens Hip Hop Troupe
Vice President, JDHS Class of 2023
Editor-in-Chief, The Weekly News (Now Daily)
Author of Perfect Five: How My First AP Exam Changed My Life
Please Note: This email signature is not an accurate reflection of my extracurriculars. I’m actually an officer of 13 more clubs/activities.