By Benji Elkins:

Last Wednesday, local area high school teacher Mrs. Ward reported being not only disheartened by her students failure to skip lines on a handwritten essay, but shocked as well. “I repeated the instructions three times” Mrs. Ward recounted, “I said, ‘make sure to SKIP lines! I repeat SKIP lines,’ and still three minutes later one of my best students came up to me with a half erased paper and apologetic eyes only to say: ‘Mrs. Ward, we have a problem.” Other teachers of the local high school expressed their disappointment as well, Professor James Ritchfield declared that he is “done with years past of inheriting the papers and anecdotes from pupils, only to hastily rescind their papers with fever and anguish in realization of their compositional blunder.”(he’s an English teacher.) Some students, however, have proposed that it is actually not their responsibility to take for their error but the teachers fault. High school Junior, Jũnior Alvarez Jr., informed our reporters, “You know I don’t think it’s our fault at all. If the teachers wanted us to hear what they’re saying, they need to repeat it at least two or three times for us students to get it.” When revealed to Alvarez that teachers do indeed repeat their instructions at least two or three times to their students, he left no comment. Unfortunately, whether it be a school essay, or a country’s new constitution, it seems that the malady of being unable to skip lines when necessary will continue to affect not only students, but writers of all kinds for the millennia to come.