By Dan Soslowsky:
On the evening of November 4th, dog owner Scott Hamerton was giving his dog Archie a bath when he discovered that his dog was actually three dogs in a trench coat. Unbeknownst to Hamerton, Max, Daisy, and Tito, three pugs from the same litter, had actually been disguising themselves as his pet “Archie” for the past six years.
Hamerton was absolutely shocked. “When I picked him up from the shelter, they told me that Archie had a rare condition that made it absolutely necessary for him to wear a 1940’s detective-style trench coat at all times,” he explained, “Then the vet told me that they discovered something strange about Archie when I brought him in for his last checkup, but I would never have guessed it would be something this significant.”
“Over time, it became really difficult to hide it from our owner,” Max barked into the Milking Cat animal-to-human language translator, “especially that time a couple months ago when he took us to the dog park and that one Welsh corgi kept trying to nudge his way into the trench coat so that he could sniff our butts. And then when Tito ate a dead rat and had explosive diarrhea for weeks. Honestly, I don’t know how Scott didn’t suspect anything.”
“In the end, I’m kind of glad that Scott found out about the whole thing,” revealed Daisy, “I’m sick of being strapped into the middle of a trench coat 24/7, my beautiful pug head shoved up against Max’s wrinkly ass.”
When we asked the dogs for an explanation as to why they were pretending to be a single dog in the first place, they dodged the question and went back to scratching themselves and barking at the mailman.