By Anka Chiorini
Apply to college early decision
Get into dream college in December
Check out completely
Wake up in March
See a copy of Ralph Ellison’s Invisible Man on my bedroom floor and remember that I am taking AP Lit
Take a virtual tour of the college I will be attending
Trip over a gigantic textbook and remember I am taking AP Euro
Wonder why I decided to take AP Euro, which is technically an elective, so, like, what the heck was I thinking with that one
Remember that I want to go to school for history
Look at the European history courses at my future college and get really excited about European history
Take a nap
Get an email from the College Board about my upcoming AP Exams
Say mean things about the College Board
Have an AP exam tomorrow
Fuck, I have an AP exam tomorrow
Shit, I didn’t study
Holyshitholyshitholyshit
Try to remember who represented Austria at the Congress of Vienna
Try to remember what the Congress of Vienna was
Remember that my test tomorrow is actually AP Lit and I have another week to figure out what the fuck happened at the Congress of Vienna
Speed read an entire year’s worth of AP Lit books
Curse Ralph Ellison for making Invisible Man so damn long
Give up and read SparkNotes for Invisible Man
Damn, Invisible Man has a weird ending
Fall asleep and dream of Invisible Man
Bullshit my way through an AP Lit exam
Forget about my AP Euro exam for a while
Create a college email
Admire my college email
Fill out college paperwork
Oh shit, Euro is tomorrow
Metternich represented Austria at the Congress of Vienna, which was held after the French Revolution to figure out what the heck to do about France
Binge Heimler’s History videos
Fall asleep and dream of the motherfucking Congress of Vienna
Take an AP Euro exam
Finish high school
Never check my AP scores
Go to college
Have the best time of my life
Peak
Finish college
Get a stable job
Get married
Start a family
Take my kids on college tours
Help my kids study for their AP exams
Get frustrated that they aren’t putting in enough effort
Develop a terminal illness
Remember I took two AP exams in twelfth grade
Die not knowing if I passed AP English Literature and Composition and AP European History
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