No Geriatric Looking for Love Should Leave the House Without...

By The Milking Cat Staff

1. Coupons for the early bird special for a “spontaneous” 4:30 pm date (sexy!!)

2. Condoms and a tablespoon of almond butter

3. A second set of teeth

4. A sex cane (a cane used for sex)

5. A song in their heart and a smile on their face

6. Their *special times* catheter

7. A gonorrhea testing kit

8. A safe sex pamphlet

9. Their last will and testament