By Thomas Murray:
I think that a Guantanamo Bay should be opened for babies.
They could call it Guantanamo Bay Jr.
It doesn’t even really have to be that big.
I think that women have a hard time deciding where to eat because the last time they decided they doomed all of humanity.
I heard a couple of friends say, “You know, we were John Mulaney fans before it was cool.”
I didn’t know there were stand up hipsters.