By Benji Elkins:
Only this past week, local boy Gabe McRay celebrated his eighth birthday. Friends and family flocked to the McRay household with cards, gifts, and presents, including the McRay’s close family friends, the Adams, who also have a boy Gabe’s age. However, when mom Rachel McRay asked her son how much money the Adams gave him for his birthday, Gabe had forgotten, and pandemonium ensued.
The Adams and McRay families had previously existed in a peaceful symbiotic balance. If the McRays had given the Adams’ kids $40 for their birthday, the Adams would give the McRay’s children $40 when it came time for them to celebrate. This balance had fostered a inter-familial alliance, uniting the two households into a common union, always careful not to give too much or too little when gifting the other family’s children, lest they be seen as pretentious or cheap.
But as the Adams’ boy’s birthday approached fast, the McRays were forced to come to terms with the fact that they had no idea what to gift him. And so the chain had been broken.
The Adams went into their closets and perused their weapon cabinet. The McRays contacted their extended family and began strict martial drills. A fatal mistake had been made, and war would be declared.