By Amelia Ell
The spice of life is wondering how your teacher will respond when you desperately need to use the bathroom in the middle of their lesson.
“You should have gone in the five minutes between classes.” It’s bold to assume that those 5 minutes aren’t infinitely strained with more important tasks such as frantically running to your locker or avoiding all awkward acquaintances in the hallways.
“If you sign out, you don’t have to ask.” However, you are required to sign your legal name on 5 different sign-out sheets as well as confirm your birthday, your recovery email address, and your reason for needing to use the bathroom. You may have accidentally signed away 50 years of personal barista service as well as your firstborn child and you’d never know.
“If you need to go, just go. I don’t want to know.” It’s true. They would rather you duck out during an in-class summative lab report than hear the word “bladder”.
“Only when I’m not teaching something important.” Which is… always? Never? While it appears liberating, bathroom breaks must be planned strategically so as to not offend the teacher or their content.
“Don’t.” (Peeing is for the weak.)