Seeking Those Ready

By Sascha Nastasi-Feinburg:


SEEKING THOSE WHO ARE READY FOR MIND BODY REJUVENATION AND ARE ALSO POST-OFFICE ADJACENT

Have you been stressed out? Has life been feeling like nothing more than a series of toe stubs, in which in between said stubs, you feel only apprehension for the next stub, making you wish you had fewer toes to stub? Have you been feeling anxious, and in need of escape? Have your days felt shapeless and banal at best? Has the skull-shaped telephone your Grandma gave you started to talk to you and inform you of the vastness of your insignificance? In these difficult and unprecedented times, The Mind/Body Good Feeling Center is pleased to announce our yearly retreat will be available online due to COVID-19 concerns. Limited reservations are available. You may not be able to physically leave, but we promise to take your mind (and body) on a journey that will far surpass the four walls of your house…


ABOUT THE COURSE:

The four week long course - Inner Healing for Outer Transformation - is designed to do just that. As a participant, you’ll meet like-minded others, whose lives and problems may resemble your own. You and this group of selfless and committed individuals have self-selected your place in this very competitive program. There’s a higher reason you’re here. Programming includes long virtual walks on the beach, sessions of silent meditation where you physically expand into the new you (regardless of what’s missing), yoga for balance and acceptance, and so much more. We are also able to offer a meal plan full of yummy vegan recipes. In times like these, community is of huge importance and at The Mind/Body Good Feeling Center we pride ourselves on being there for you.


ABOUT THE MEISTER:

The Meister is a world renowned teacher of mind and body wellness with the unique ability to truly transform those who learn from her. She is known for her supreme powers as well as her keen affinity for BBQ. Above all, she is a giver, not a taker, and she will truly transform your life. After graduating from several online wellness programs, she started The Mind/Body Good Feeling Center and her team has since grown exponentially.


PAYMENT:

Here at The Mind/Body Good Feeling Center, we do not ask for payment in the form of money, but we do ask for a very personal donation: as many fingers and toes as possible. We love to feel close to the students of our course, to feel that they are truly bonded to us. Please only apply (with pictures) if you are willing to make A Sacrifice. While the donation could be seen as an opportunity to be a part of something bigger than oneself (to be a part of another being, really, and a Great one at that), it could also be seen as a true investment in oneself, in one's future and happiness. If all of this sounds appealing, please apply using the form below. Note that admission into the program is extremely competitive. With this in mind, please pay attention to lighting and staging. We require clipped, clean nails, preferably unpainted. *Please note, we do not accept non-human animal by-products of any kind. We believe in kindness to animals and are practicing vegans (besides the obvious exemption)*


Name:


Age:

Photos of fingers and/or toes:

Any seasoning you could provide (The Master loves her fingers with Trader Joe’s Everything But the Bagel seasoning so this offering is a major plus):


How many fingers/toes you are willing to donate (any number from 6 to ∞):

Would you be willing to taste your product before sending pictures in order to provide us with a description of the taste? Yes or No.


If you answered yes, please describe the taste of your product below:


What do you think you would add to the program?


Are you near a post office? Yes or No. *please ship your frozen digits in a styrofoam cooler to ensure freshness*


Reviews from previous attendees:

“What I lost in a finger, I gained in a whole new mindset. I plan to participate at least five more times. Priceless.”- Bridget, 32


“It was a transformative experience.”- Dan, 57


“With the burden of my physical body lessened, I feel ten years younger, and it is all thanks to the Mind/Body Good Feeling Center.”

- Derek, 49


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©2018 by The Milking Cat.