By Noah Stern:
SUNDAY APRIL 7TH, 2:34 P.M. - Local teenager Jack McHugh was shopping with his
mother, Denise, when, suddenly, disaster struck. McHugh had completely lost track of his
mother somewhere between the aisle with all the tortilla chips and the aisle with all the
expensive tortilla chips. However, McHugh pulled an ingenious maneuver that will undoubtedly put him in the conversation for smartest teenager of all time.
Local reporters caught up with McHugh outside of the Target after he had been safely
reunited with his mother. “Well it was pretty simple,” he was quoted as saying, “right when I got kinda scared that me and my mom had been separated forever never to meet again, I just took out my phone and started scrolling through Instagram, trying to look as unconcerned as possible.”
When asked about his thought process in the moment, he had this to say: “I mainly did it because I was afraid someone would see me, a 5’10 sixteen-year old looking around a Target, and immediately assume I had lost my mother and bring me to the front to call her on the loudspeaker. So, instead, I just went on my phone and waited around patiently for my mommy to find me like a big boy.”