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By Noah Stern:

For local high school sophomore Mark Davies, what at first seemed like a normal trip to the grocery store soon took a turn for the worse when he encountered his history teacher, Mrs. Stephenson, in the check-out line.

“I mean, Jesus Christ, where do I begin?” said Davies in an interview shortly after the event. “I was just minding my own business on a normal Saturday afternoon and here comes freaking Mrs. Stephenson just strolling around like a normal person.”

Davies implied that the nonchalance with which Mrs. Stephenson was running her errands frightened him, as he did not realize that his teachers also needed to complete necessary household tasks and, not to mention the fact that they might not actually live at school, may even live in the same general area as their students.

Things got worse for Davies when he was forced to make small talk with his history teacher as they both waited in the same line to check out. “Well we both exchanged these, like, awkward smiles as we both acknowledged how much we didn’t want this to be happening right now,” Davies explained, “I’m pretty sure I said ‘hi’ and she said something along the lines of ‘hi Mark how’s your weekend going?’”

This was problematic for Davies, as he did not have a sufficient answer for Mrs. Stephenson. When asked what he said next, Davies had this to say: “I don’t know, man, I mostly just remember making this stupid comment about how we both were getting Pretzel M&M’s and then internally deciding that I should just change schools. I think it would be best for everyone.”

Mrs. Stephenson declined an interview with our reporters. Mark Davies’ mother, Shannon Davies-Goodwin, was also at the site of the incident and implied that she was willing to look into alternative schooling options for her son.

* is not sponsored by Pretzel M&M’s, or affiliated in any way with the M&M’s brand or Mars, Incorporated.


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