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THE APP: An Ultimate Solution to self-Hatred

By Dishari Barua:

Did you ever listen to the wise, impractical saying “follow your heart” and made what optimists call a brave (read: bad) decision that triggered years of self-hatred? Made one impulsive decision and then spent many sleepless nights, resisting the urge to pull out your hair? Well, as humans, bad decisions are inevitable, and so is the distaste for oneself. Some might suggest therapy or meditation, but we have a better solution.

Introducing THE APP, the cure to self-hatred caused by bad decisions. With our carefully crafted app, we will generate hand-picked bad decisions for you. If you act on them and things go south you can hate on us for it, not yourself. So the days of self-loathing are over.

Here in THE APP we defy the rules and make sure it’s always U before I. “Hate us, not thee,” our motto has enabled many lost souls to free themselves and redirect their negativity towards us. THE APP truly is the narcissist dream. One of many satisfied users shared their experience: “I was having trouble at work with my boss so I consulted THE APP and it decided I should infest my boss’s house with termites. Yes, I got fired and all but hey I can hate someone else for it. Yes it was a bad decision but not MY bad decision” THE APP premium even provides a step-by-step walkthrough on how to gaslight yourself. THE APP indeed is a revolutionary invention that fails Instagram #selflove challenges.

Therapy: expensive

THE APP: free (in app purchases)

Available for both ios and android


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