By Spencer Armon:
Earlier this week, Benji Elkins, CEO of the Milking Cat, announced that the popular teen comedy website would try its hand at creating an OnlyFans. This comes after news of Bella Thorne’s massive million-dollar payday after only 24 hours on the site. With this move, Elkins hoped to expand the reader base of the magazine but the plan seems not to have gone as expected given the controversial reviews, some of which are featured below:
“Honestly, pretty disgusted by the naked pictures of the cat from their logo. It was quite distasteful and DEFINITELY not worth the $70 monthly subscription price.” - Tobias L., 1/5 Stars
“I really don’t know whether I should be disgusted or amazed by the twerking cat GIF. I mean it was some really impressive animation, but c’mon now. That has to be breaking at least a law or two.” - Becky R., 2/5 Stars
“To be honest, I only bought the subscription out of sheer curiosity and after briefly glancing at some of the content, I wish it were true that curiosity kills cats. Sadly, it only arouses them.” - Diana B., 1/5 Stars
“I’ve spent over $2,000 on OnlyFans in the last month alone and I have never seen such a weird wish list. Fun-sized bidet, cat body pillow, and ‘stanky fish meat’ are three things I wish did not exist.” - Ben C., 1/5 Stars
“I don’t know if this content meets the grounds for a PETA intervention but what Joe Exotic did to those cats pales in comparison to this monstrosity, so Carole Baskin, if you’re reading this, please, please do something.” - Trey G., 1/5 Stars
“Certainly an interesting creative choice to play the Titanic soundtrack while an animated cat performs a strip-tease. I wasn’t pleased, per se, but I did manage to make it through all 14 minutes of the video, so I guess it wasn’t horrible.” - Tina V., 2/5 Stars
“Still better than Cats the movie.” - Bryan H., 3/5 Stars
“Here’s what’s gonna happen. I’m gonna warn you to not buy the subscription, but you will buy it anyway out of curiosity. You will see one nude cat image and immediately smash your computer screen. And I’m here to tell you I told you so.” - Maya P., 1/5 Stars
“Super cool stuff! I definitely recommend paying for the subscription!” - Benji E., 5/5 Stars