Things That Deserve to Be on My Resume

By Seungwoo Lee

1. High fiving the Harvard admissions officer who visited my school: Hey, if I forged a somewhat good relationship with the Harvard admissions officer, that must mean something. Oh, just in case you’re wondering, my school counselor stopped me from applying to anywhere near Harvard due to my 1.5 GPA (the biggest ‘what if’ of my life...)

2. Reading 50 pages of The Brothers Karamazov: Heck, I even memorized the names of the characters! Fyodor, Dmitri,... Oh, nevermind, I didn’t.

3. Managing to Land 15 Bottle Flips in a Row: What? You have a 4.0 GPA and stellar extracurricular activities? Well, did you ever land 15 bottle flips in a row? I think the answer is no (unless the answer is yes, in which case please do not say anything so that I can still feel good about myself)

4. Hacking into My Friend’s Minecraft Account: When my peers were studying for coding competitions, I went out into the real world and did some real work. Oh cute little Toby, you now know that you shouldn’t set your birthday as your password (the world is filled with smart people like me).

5. Pushing My Friend in a Wheelchair: Yeah he was my best friend, and it would have been horrible not to help him, but how is this any different from going to South Africa and volunteering to help a group of strangers? How?

6. Keeping a Goldfish for 6 years: Everybody knows that keeping a goldfish for 6 years is a remarkable feat. It could have been 7 years (or maybe even more), had my mom not gone on that stupid business trip and left me all by myself (very responsible of you, mom).

7. Being “Ironman” in the Costume Contest: The fact that my friends allowed me to be ironman surely speaks volumes about my leadership skills. I still can’t believe Nelson thought that ‘he’ could be Ironman (some people just don’t have any sense of self awareness).

8. Having the Second Most Votes in the School Election: You know who else was second? Buzz Aldrin. You guys don’t know who Buzz Aldrin is? Yeah, me too...I had to search him up to write this line.

9. Being Voted ‘Class Clown’ in the School Yearbook: I spent 4 years of my life making fart noises to make a bunch of high school kids laugh. Give me some credit.