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Things We've All Heard Our Teachers Say

By Angie Starcevic

“Listen up! I will not be here tomorrow as there is a teacher’s conference, so y’all will be getting a substitute. I’m gonna be leaving an assignment up on the board that you will have to complete tomorrow. It should be very easy so there is no reason as to why EVERYBODY should not have completed it. I’ll be asking the substitute to write names on the board of students she has any problems with, and those with names on the board will not be getting to participate in the Halloween Parade, so I’m expecting all of you to behave.”

The next day...

“NEVER in all my thirty-two years of teaching have I ever been so embarrassed. I have never

received such a bad note from a substitute in my entire career. Y’all should be ashamed of


“The bell does not dismiss you! I do!”

“Why do I hear talking?’

Whispering with another teacher with a folder covering their mouths.

Coming in to observe a class and shushing the students while opening the loudest chip bag

known to man.

Keys jingling.

Keys jingling.

Keys jingling.

“Excuse me! I am speaking to this student and he is right in front of me, yet I can’t hear a single word he’s saying. Y’all are too loud! If I have to warn y’all again we will do book work.”


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