Transcript: Kim Jong Un’s Emergency Room

By Kellen Narke:


The following transcript was secured through a CIA operative in Japan. Notes added for clarity.


Audible background struggling

UNKNOWN VOICE: He won't fit through the door!


Laughter is heard, the audio then briefly cuts out

GENERAL: Doctor, make the Supreme Leader well.


The doctor is audibly nervous

DOCTOR: I-I’ve never operated on someone overweight before!


GENERAL: The Supreme Leader is a slim 150 pounds, you should have no trouble with that.


DOCTOR: Ok, ok. Please help me remove his clothes.


Audible struggling

GENERAL: We need reinforcements!


The sound of boots on the floor is heard, finally, they are successful

NURSE: gasps The rumors are true!


A shot rings out, a body falls to the ground

GENERAL: She should not have acknowledged that.


DOCTOR: He appears to be brain dead…


GENERAL: Nonsense! The Supreme Leader is immort-


The door opens and footsteps can be heard

KIM’S SISTER: How is my brother? I came as soon as I heard the news.


GENERAL: The doctor says he is brain dead, the Supreme Leader is so strong, his body will never die!


KIM’S SISTER: Begins crying He doesn’t deserve to suffer! He’s been in constant pain ever since- her crying overtakes what she is saying


DOCTOR: Ever since what?


KIM’S SISTER: Ever since Trump called him Rocketman!


GENERAL: Disgusting imperialist…


KIM’S SISTER: How many missiles do we have?


GENERAL: 2 attached to the Supreme Leader’s car, 7 at military bases, and 28 at the bottom of the ocean.


KIM’S SISTER: Prepare them all, I must get my revenge


Audio cuts out

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©2018 by The Milking Cat.