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Types of Choirs at a High School Choral Festival

By Sarah Parmet

  1. The Freshman Choir: Freshman, sure, but you swear there’s a couple of eighth graders mixed in there. Come on. Half the boy’s voices haven’t even broken yet.

  1. The Way-Too-Old-To-Be-There Choir: Excuse me, the bass in the far right corner is literally growing a full beard, and if you told me that everyone was twenty-one, I’d believe you.   

  1. The Preppy Rich Kid Choir: Whispers through the other choirs’ performances. Thinks they’re better than everyone else for coming from a fancy private school. Will later get reprimanded by their choir teacher for making fun of the other choirs. 

  1. The Really Good Choir: What the Preppy Rich Kid Choir thinks they are.    

  1. The Hottest Choir: Also what the Preppy Rich Kid Choir thinks they are.    

  1. The Mediocre Choir with a Really Good Soloist: Usually a Soprano 1 who can sing insanely high. Sometimes you wonder if they formed the choir just for the purpose of giving her solos.  

  1. The Girly-Pop Choir: No boys allowed. 

  1. The Massive Choir: 1….2….3……how did they even fit 45 people on stage??? 

  1. The Tiny Choir: So, is everyone sick, or do they only have fifteen people?

  1. The Dance Choir: Full-on choreography during their pop song. Pretty good except for the singular tenor messing up the synchronized claps every time.

  1. The Best Choir: “The Best Choir just got back from their 5-month world tour across 8 continents…..they have won every season of America’s Got Talent, and they never go to school.”  

  1. The University Choir Who’s Forced To Perform: Not this shit again.


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