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UNQUALIFIED: THIRD PARTY CANDIDATE HAS NO SEX ABUSE CLAIMS AGAINST HIM

By Benji Elkins:


As expected, the Libertarian party has once again completely made a fool of themselves. In fact, it seems as though every election cycle the tradition continues.


Thousands of gun-toting, constitution-loving, classical liberals gather at the polls every election to vote for some insane candidate. This year, it seems the defunct bunch have thrown their votes away in favor of the immoral Justin Amash.


Amash’s policies? Ban the federal death penalty, combat climate change, end corporate bailouts, end the war on drugs, protect same-sex marriage, the privacy of citizens, and the constitutional rights of all citizens: gay, hispanic, white, black, transgender, x, y, or z.


This platform completely goes against our current American values.


Not only does he refuse to support large corporations and military intervention into foreign countries such as our current (and may I add much more realistic) candidates, Biden and Trump, not only does he not constantly stutter over his words and lie to the press, and not only does he have slightly racist tendencies, but he doesn’t even have the credentials necessary to become president!


He hasn’t once been accused of sexual assault.


Is this the type of person we want as president? Someone who hasn’t even met the first requirement for political office? Someone who simply takes votes away from the real politicians?


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