By Kellen Narke:
January
You don’t trust airplanes anymore.
Your age is eligible for the draft.
You are not fond of deserts or vacations to foreign lands.
You have a strong fear of nuclear war.
February
You don’t trust helicopters anymore.
You’re a huge sports fan.
You believe Kobe is a top 2 basketball player of all time .
The Last Dance was your favorite quarantine viewing.
March
You have no interest in ever visiting Wuhan, China.
You enjoy school in person.
You may own stocks.
April
You’re very extroverted.
You probably didn’t get any compensatory Trump Bucks.
Your sleep schedule has turned you into a nocturnal animal.
May
Watching Tom Brady and Peyton Manning play golf did not alleviate your troubles.
You have a strong fear of giant murder hornets.