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What Your Least Favorite Month of 2020 Says About You

By Kellen Narke:


January

  • You don’t trust airplanes anymore.

  • Your age is eligible for the draft.

  • You are not fond of deserts or vacations to foreign lands.

  • You have a strong fear of nuclear war.

February

  • You don’t trust helicopters anymore.

  • You’re a huge sports fan.

  • You believe Kobe is a top 2 basketball player of all time .

  • The Last Dance was your favorite quarantine viewing.

March

  • You have no interest in ever visiting Wuhan, China.

  • You enjoy school in person.

  • You may own stocks.

April

  • You’re very extroverted.

  • You probably didn’t get any compensatory Trump Bucks.

  • Your sleep schedule has turned you into a nocturnal animal.

May

  • Watching Tom Brady and Peyton Manning play golf did not alleviate your troubles.

  • You have a strong fear of giant murder hornets.


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