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Why 6 Is Afraid of 7

By Dan Soslowsky:

7 woke up in a cold sweat at 5:32 AM on October 18, 2020. His stomach growled with a loud, yet pathetic roar. He waddled to the hallway bathroom, putting his bathrobe on along the way. Staring at himself in the mirror, he saw his bony ribs protruding from the dry, thin layer of skin. He was hungry. He put on his sneakers and walked out of the door of his apartment, heading towards the coffee shop on the corner street.

As he approached the glass door, he saw a long line circling the entire block. This was going to take a while. After what felt like hours of waiting in line, 7’s hunger grew and grew. He knew that there was no way he would be able to suppress his leopard-like hunger long enough to reach the front of the line and order his food. He looked around, desperate for something, anything.

And there he was: 9. Looking so beautifully plump and juicy, like an oasis in the middle of a dry, dusty desert. 7 quickly dismissed the idea, yet he kept staring, eyeing 9 like a lion in the savannah. He just stood there, trying so hard to resist his animal urges. Over time, 9 noticed 7‘s unwavering, meaty, open-mouthed glare. He started shaking and sweating, wringing his hands and tugging on his shirt collar. 7 waited and waited for as long as he could, but then... he snapped.

7 charged at 9 with all of his might, tackling him down to the dirty coffee shop floor. Screams of innocent employees and customers rang out from all sides of the shop. 6 scrambled to take out his phone and dial 911, but he knew that the police wouldn’t show up in time to stop the absolute cataclysm that was currently occurring before his very eyes.

As 7 clawed at 9’s chest, 6 could see his eyes turn a demonic shade of yellow-green. 7 then ripped 9’s arm right out of its socket with the fury and strength of a wild jaguar. 7 immediately tossed the limb into his bloody mouth and gobbled it up like a Thanksgiving meal. Soon, all of 9’s appendages were squirming deep within 7’s digestive tract. Legend says that if you listen closely, you can still hear 9’s saddened cries coming from the depths of the beast’s gruesome gut.


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