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Ay, Let's Form a Clique

By Shrean Rafiq

“Maybe we should form a clique.”

“The fuck’s a clique?” “It’s like, uh, one of those sex things.”

“Shit, with just guys?” “What? No, it's not a sex thing.” “So, like a wingman situation, huh, I’m into it.”

“Yeah, not bad.”

“No, God, it’s not- just listen. A clique is an exclusive group based on an idea, interest, or something of that sort. I think we could make it work, go all in.”

“Ah, like a cult.”

“Nah, man, I ain’t into that worship Satan thing!” “No, cults don’t necessarily all worship satan, I think Han means- ” “Guys.” “I think he means rituals and stuff.” “Guys.” “Shit man. It’s all Satan one way or the other. I gotta hug my mom at Christmas!”

“Guys!” “Bah, not as if you go to Church as it is.” “Dude! It’s not a cult. It’s ideological. A place to let this idea flourish, or maybe just hang out. See where it leads.” “Dunno man sounds like a cult to me.” “Or the beginnings of a cult.” “It’s not a cult!” “Which is exactly what a cultist would say.” “Dude. Do you have to make this exasperating? I just wanted to take this group to the next level.”

“So it is a sex thing.” “Not that next of a level!” “Just saying, I’m good with a wingman situation but I ain’t fucking toge-” “Greg. There will be no sex involved.” “Yes, you can stay out of that if you wish. So, it’ll be just the two of us then? Maybe we can get Mathew in. I’m told he can get anyone into bars.”

“First of all, we’re all of legal age now. Second, there will be nothing amorous for anyone!” “Psh, for you, maybe.”

“Listen, we are all good people, we all have similar interests, and the idea we just had was something out of the ordinary. All I’m imagining is a close-knit group of friends, maybe make something worthwhile out of this thought, or just enjoy each other's company.” “How close, exactly?” “God.” “And my mom still lets me into the house at Christmas time, right?” “Greg, you forget that I’m actually religious while you are not. Yes, your mom will let you in. There will be nothing religious, or inappropriate, involved, or any sort, period.”

“But we still get to have our sex lives elsewhere?” “Yes, if you want to. Look, it's not that complicated. It’s basically just friends but more organized.”

“How’s that different from just friends?” “Jesus, I ain’t into that cleaning and organizing things either.”

“Not that different I suppose, and Greg, we’re not going to be organizing physically.

“Yeah, Greg, it’s more events and planners based.”

“Well, not rea-” “Shit, that sounds boring as fuck.” “I suppose it does, Han, we should just circle back to the wingman business.”

“No, not planners either.” “Yeah, how does a wingman work though?”

“Guys, let’s stay on track here.” “You’ve seen movies. Girls love a group.”

“That’s sexist. And also-”

“Man, I told you no orgies.”

“It’s not an orgy per se. We’ll split up after we hook up in the bar. But if they wanted to, you know, I wouldn’t be the one to decline.”

“That is still super sexist. Look, it doesn’t have to be a clique, as long as-”

“Ay, now we’re talking.”


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