By Benjamin Epstein
Fun Facts About 1rst President George Washington!
George Washington was the second most horse-like U.S president. The most horse-like U.S. president was Franklin Pierce, who was literally just a horse.
George Washington would have loved crocs.
If you combine George Washington with a giant wood chipper then you get a terrible situation for everybody involved.
George Washington probably went to the toilet more than 70 times.
If George Washington had been a sparrow then he probably would’ve had a lot less accomplishments.
George Washington invented gorilla tactics- where an opposing army scares their foes by unleashing a gorilla.
Fun Facts About 7th President Andrew Jackson!
Andrew Jackson had two bullets lodged in him, both a result of duels.
If you stuck an air pump in Adam Jacksons mouth then he would inflate like a balloon.
Andrew Jackson was married to a tree for 5 years, but it left him for a bush.
Andrew Jackson was allergic to Vincent Van Gogh. Thankfully, Vincent Van Gogh was born over 30 years after Andrew Jackson died, so they never met.
Andrew Jackson slept on a bed made of 80 smaller beds.
FUN FACTS ABOUT 19th President GROVER CLEVELAND!
Grover Cleveland's breast milk could be made into cheese. However, no one was brave enough to milk him.
If you were to stack all of Grover Cleveland's bones on top of each other then he would probably get mad at you.
Grover Cleveland can’t see colors, mostly because he is dead.
Grover Cleveland had more toes than any horse that has ever lived.
Grover Cleveland's mustache was groomed by a much smaller version of himself that popped out of Grover Cleveland one day. His name was Clover Geveland, and some say he’s still alive today.
According to his wife, there was more blood in Grover Cleveland's head than there was on the moon.
Grover Cleveland was the only president to have hanged a man.
The first president to ever go on the moon was Grover Cleveland, but he didn’t bring his head with him.
Fun Facts About 28th President John F. Kennedy!
John F. Kennedy probably wasn’t a turtle.
Elvis Presley had more blood than John F. Kennedy. When he heard this, John F Kennedy grew enraged. He decided to sneak into Elvis's house and drink all of his blood. This killed Elvis and to this day, he is still dead.
John F. Kennedy styled his hair by detaching his head and sticking it in a washing machine.
John F. Kennedy was killed by the ghost of Elvis Presley.
Elvis Presleys real name was asparagus parsley.
John F Kennedy hated the semicolon, and he tried to get it banned in the United States. He was extremely close to succeeding this, but then he got shot. Some say that it wasn’t the ghost of Elvis Presley that killed John F. Kennedy, but it was actually The Federal Bureau of Semicolons.
Fun Facts About 32cnd President Vincent Van Gogh!
Vincent Van Gogh was larger than most chickens.
Vincent Van Gogh was born with a nose, and he most likely died with one.
Vincent Van Gogh ate more bread than most chickens.
Vincent Van Gogh ate more chickens than most bread (this is because bread doesn’t eat).
If you stacked every Vincent Van Gogh on top of each other then they wouldn’t reach all that high.
Most of Vincent Van Gogh's friends knew him before he died.
If you licked Vincent Van Gogh then he would probably get really angry at you.
Vincent Van Gogh died in 1955, and ever since then the wind has tasted a little less salty. That is because everyday he was alive, Vincent Van Gogh would go out and salt the wind. Now that he’s dead, there’s no one out there to salt the winds.
Fun Facts About 41st President Jack Nicholson!
Jack Nicholson is the only president to still be alive. This is because he hasn’t died yet.
Jack Nicholson has tried to kill god on numerous occasions.
Wearing Jack Nicholson's skin isn’t illegal, but you shouldn’t do it anyway.
According to The Food and Drug Administration Jack Nicholson is “highly toxic” ,and “tastes disgusting”.
If you put every single Jack Nicholson in a row, then nothing would happen.
There’s more milk outside Jack Nicholson's house than inside it.
Jack Nicholson is similar to a dog in that there’s no thing in the rule book that says he can’t play basketball.
Jack Nicholson is different from a dog in that he’s never taken a dump on my lawn.
Jack Nicholson has fewer tongues than the entire cast of Firefly (2002) combined.
Compared to most presidents, Jack Nicholson looks nothing like a rhombus.
Jack Nicholson is the only U.S. president to not just be three children in a trenchcoat.
Fun Facts About The 67th and Final President: An Evil Clone of George Washington!
The Evil Clone of George Washington is the true leader of the world. May he rule forever from his orbital throne! His glory is unrivaled in all the galaxy! He shall lead us in our glorious quest to stamp out the vile Martian curse from the universe. Long long The Evil Clone of George Washington!