By Benji Elkins:
In a gut wrenching twist of events, United Kingdom Prime Minister, Theresa May, has been found to have actually been born in the month of October. This new revelation has befuddled, confused, and outraged men and women around the world who thought she had been born in May. “Well you know, her name is May, so I thought she was born in May,” explained Norwich resident Gregor Hart, “and well my birthday is in May. So that’s why I voted for her. I thought it would be nice” Hart later reflected that it was indeed, “not nice.”
“It’s ridiculous!” yelled Londoner Jennifer Marclay, “A politician is supposed to be an honest speaker for the people. What type of MP, let alone prime minister bases their whole life off of a lie. I feel cheated, embarrassed, I demand an apology!” However, no apology has yet been issued from Prime Minister May and so truth seekers around the world sit patiently, waiting for May’s day of reckoning. In midst of May’s controversy many American citizens have started to show concern over the fact John Denver was actually born in Roswell, New Mexico and Paris Hilton is from New York (which explains a lot actually).